The candle glows through the Himalayan salt. In the corner, in the dark. Dragons Blood incense burning. After I lit some white sage. In the distance I hear the rain in the dark. I’m in the warm cocoon nearing meditation. As my heart beat slows. The active mind chatter that haunts me quietens. A stressful day in the office. Little time to clear my head. In an almost panic, I crave the air, the breeze, the solitude. I crave quiet from music for a moment. Then crave my guitar. Ange comes upstairs and suggests I get in the reiki couch for a back massage. Our cats playing. They follow us around the house and settle where we do. The stress is about to leave. We travel tomorrow to another country for peace and 5 year anniversary celebrations. Needed.The day to day job grind has drained us both. We must work harder on our business and with our gifts. The spirits are around tonight. We let them hang out. As long as they respect privacy boundaries and don’t drain our energies too much. It’s cool. To find a deceased friends spirit approach and promise to keep a watchful presence over the kitties new cat sitter is lovely. I’m having lots of intense dreams since my quantum healing. Simon Cowell and peoples faces turning to Demons last night. An intriguing woman haunts mine. I wonder if it’s past life recognition of soul. Or I’m meant to connect or help? It’s an attraction of the non sexual. As we continue to learn. Don’t ignore the signs, messages and learnings. I don’t believe in coincidences. As it’s already written as fate.
So firstly. You can read a section of my experience of Quantum Regression Healing I had on Sunday.
I’m sat listening back to the recording. Noticing my spoken accent is more ‘Nottinghamish’ than it sounds in my head. Eee by Gum and all. I’ve been pondering these last few days. In moments of silence. Its been busy. So tonight I can digest. I found my meditation/ chanting session with our group and my Reiki Master, last night enjoyable and wanted to sing out to the universe with my mystic mic. The actual ‘healing’ and energies became rather uncomfortable during the end meditation. I’ve experienced this the last few occasions. My left arm, which I’ve sprained during more moving stuff up into the loft excursions. Felt like it was having psychic surgery. Of course this is the energies healing, mending. removing blockages. I’ve neglected my own healing and Reiki practice. Prescription meds and me do not suit. Pain relief is numbness. I want to feel alive. A few weeks off them and I almost feel human again.
So I begin again. Its very easy to neglect my peace, after a long day on hospital wards and in the office. Eyes glued to the computer screen, phone calls, distractions, emails, problem solving. There is a big satisfaction for me when I’m challenged and conquer. I can’t bear being behind with emails. So have to majorly manage my time, diary and workload. Accounting for unexpected additional tasks. I would seriously be bored and become unmotivated If the day job became anything less. I work for a really good Team. Central Procurement will be marked and noted as my favourite people and environment. Wise, funny, friendly, helpful. Such a refreshing change. I go next week to be presented from our Chief Executive, Peter Homa. With my CMI management qualification, gained after The Liberating The Talents Course. A time of study, assignments and no social life. Oh and writing my autobiograpy in 6 Months. I emphasise again. All done while working full time. Still doing the household chores, Still being a musician. My point is not to be a workaholic. Its that when you set your mind to a task. With you can achieve it. The actual relief when its all done is amazing. The sense of accomplishment it satisfying at its very least. I’d gained my Pharmacy NVQ and Okuden Reiki II qualification during the intense period of time. A conclusion and chapter of my working life closed occurred to. I believe issues have been raised and I hope good comes from it so others don’t suffer.
So after stress tears and a few periods. Sundays revelations have shown me what I need to do. There is only so many kick up the arses and lecturers one can get. Then choose to ignore. When one’s subconscious had that special chat and one is shown a relevant past life. Everything becomes clear. The jigsaw fitted. The questions answered. Ignore it at your peril. Groundhog day becomes very insane if you ignore the lessons shown to you in life.
I feel different, I feel change. I feel lighter in spirit and soul. You wont see these revelations and the answers to the questions that I asked on any blog I write. It will be published in my forthcoming book- “Claudsville” If you do choose to read it of course. Things will become clear as to why I am, who I am and my lifes purpose. I’ve cried writing it, I chuckled, I’ve relived pain, frustration, anger, hurt and some good times. It’s only now that I truly understand why. I had to write it. I now have to change a few bits and add a few on. Mainly thanking the one that have been cruel to me. Because they showed me the best lesson.
Its time to meditate now and listen again to my subconscious. The Blue Anchor.
Everyone does it; rarely do folk talk about it. If it smelt of roses would it be the topic of conversation? “Mine smelt beautiful today, great texture too”
It’s a topic that. Yes I talk too much about. Laugh about constantly and gag when I smell others. I’ve grown up talking about it. Planting fake turd to play jokes is hilarious. I once took my collection, including a huge plastic one I purchased from a joke shop in Blackpool to work. Leaving them scattered on the floor in the staff toilet. The cleaner.. She went crazy! Shouting “I’m not cleaning that up”. I think I peed myself before I told her. She was in shock for ages after. As she was having an inspection that day by her regional bosses. Eventually seeing the funny side. I found it funnier
Doing a running commentary before and after the expelling of inner dwellings is the norm. Sex was not a topic discussed. Shit was and still is. To this day, if we run down to 4 toilet rolls. I start to panic and have to stock up. We are quite liberal in our house. The freedom to wander naked and plop with the door open is liberating. The need to remember when friends are over, to shut doors is not an automatic process. Once the deed is done. The trick is timing and usage of ‘Swan Vesta’ matches. Better than any air freshener. Plus it doesn’t scare the cats. Who follow us to the bathroom and sit having a fuss. Pattie then likes a dripping tap lick from the sink after balancing on the bath and slipping off it numerous times. Or the cats decide to play fight, slam dunking and drop kicking each other on the bath mat, while I’m sat there reading ‘Facebook’ or playing ‘Clash of the Clans.’ Rambo does a protest poo on the bath mat. (If we stay away the night, or don’t let him out to prowl) I’ve been woken up to catch him shitting then skidding his arse along it and the bathroom floor, before running off meowing . . There is also the double flush. I think it’s always good to get rid of the shit in your life as soon as you can. Lingering is bad for one’s wellbeing, environment and nostrils. How many people have a good look at it before its sent packing? The embarrassment of having to go for an, ‘emergency shit’ in public toilets… (or layby or woods? Using till receipts to wipe.) Sat plopping away. After putting copious amounts of bog roll in the pan to dampen the sounds. Ensuring your timing and release target others flushes or the hand dryer. Or the mandatory cough. Waiting until everyone has left then making a swift exit in the shadows. Whenever I’ve changed Jobs/Departments. I make sure I find myself a private toilet. Or as generally unused as possible. I don’t know whether men job plop away without concern. Or they feel the same as women.
I sometimes have dreams, where I am sat naked on a public toilet, with no walls trying to pee and cant. But even when I do ‘dream pee,’ I still want one. Then I wake up needing one.
So poo the taboo. Unspoken by most. Amusing conversation in the right crowd. Or maybe I talk about it too much? Everyone shits. The bourgeois, the famous, the really posh all go for a right big dump. So whenever you get a snob looking down their flaring nostrils at you. Remember this. Everyone’s shit stinks!