In The Eye Of The Storm

We’ve found ourselves recently in the eye of a storm. We continue to work on our calm, happiness and bliss. A perfect circle. Cycles of laughter, pmt, laughter, pmt…;-0

But our bubble of joy is surrounded by pricks and others, who continue to attract and follow the same destructive patterns in their lives. If you burst my zit over the holidays, I’ll not be a happy bunny and will fang you up! Attracting bad situations that manifest from a whim, or a desperate reach out at what they believe  to be ‘happiness.’ Oh yes it seemed like a good idea at the time to throw fancy at the wind. But the wind became a tornado spinning the same carnage, a whirling dervish of pain and upset. Broken lives, emotions lay scattered in its wake. Some will try to drag others down once that self destruct choice is made. It is a choice. Because the choice of asking for help when the alarm bells start ringing is there. Once the demons invited, it’s harder to get it caged and sent packing. Some people are plain nasty. Please stop being nasty. Your Karma will be horrific.  At what point do those voices in your head or urges become so frighteningly dangerous. The concept of reality and normality is lost? Right and wrong no longer exists to them.  I’m a strong believer in having people ‘sectioned’ for the safety of themselves and others before that final line is crossed.

Now I’m no preacher. But have seen a lot of this lately. Some drink to excess. Some drink every day. Some use it as a form of relaxation. Some use it as escape. Some love it and have great times a long way from tipsy. Some are just addicted.  I like a good drink. But no longer use it as an anaesthetic for my troubles, or courage for my fun. I’ve seen what it does when it gets out of control. It destroys people.  I used to think. I’ll never even last a night without a bottle of wine. I did and now can give or take it. Being skint made that choice for me initially and helped be stop a destructive routine. The red rain of rouge occasionally makes the next day a doom, boff and gloom day. But I’ll do it again and again.  

There is a lot of ‘poor me’ going on and very little counting of blessings. Let me assure you, again. There is always someone far worse off than you. That person has also made peace with the awfulness they have experienced and has found contentment, even in their final moments on this earth. Of Course we get some that just can’t handle life and what lessons it gives you. Never learning and breaking habits and cycles. Unhappiness can be written down on a piece of paper, verbally dictated, sign language. Various methods can be utilized. So I ask you. Why is your life such a mess. You blame whom? I ask what have you done to get out of that mess? Have you attracted more of the same to yourself? Are you Groundhog day in the flesh? How many spirits think oooh I’m so glad I killed myself. Pat on the back.. My life could have been…..Had I had made a different choice and mindset. You have the freedom to choose. Live, be happy for the small time you have here. Or let the darkness continue. Sunrise is beautiful. A fresh breeze fills one with vitality. Beyond the gate lies your happiness. Of course If you are already happy, beyond is this moment.  If you’ve mastered mindfulness, well done you! So shake up your buttercups. Start living in the light. With a bit of practice and perseverance, You will want to water the daisies not push ’em up. Image

2014 Resolutions or Revolution

So after the promise of a better 2013. Which did have some amazingly good stuff in it. It also had the bad, the challenges. But the changes, the advances, the laughter, the tears, the achievements. Meeting more good souls.  The dust settled this year after the Ascension to the 5th Dimension from the 3rd. Resolutions or a revolution. Something big is brewing up a storm. 

My resolutions are listed below. 

1. Stop being anal. I tried watching Beverly Hills Chihuahua to ‘lighten up’ it was too much at the moment for me to tolerate more than 10 mins. Maybe one day!

2. Grow a humongous pumpkin and squashes, “Project Pumpkin”

3. Make my wife happier every day.

4. Finish book and Publish  ‘Claudsville – Blogs and Biog of a Bog Woppit

5. Get infection/problem in left cheek in face sorted once and for all!

6. Reiki and meditation everyday.

7. Cross trainer, swimming, cycling.. Lots more of.

8.  Finish solo Meditation album.Image

9. Quit crisp and Bourbon biscuits addiction.

10. More writing recording and performing music.

Making music had been a pleasure this year. I’ll be finishing my solo meditation music album 2014. Doing a record with Rock Band ‘Subway Circus’ and more Idolins music. 

I’ve just published 3 solo albums here

http://bogwoppit.bandcamp.com/

The Idolins have just released a live EP here FREE

https://soundcloud.com/the-idolins/sets/live-paper-stone-2013-1

Solo Oxjam Gig 30/11/13

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I wrote this in a drunken mess last night.

So it’s past midnight, a late one for me. Normally awake or stirring 5am onwards. Bed by 10pm. Rock and Roll!

I’ve just played a solo set at The Johnson Arms, near Qmc, Nottingham. After a rehearsal, meditation and long bath. 5pm hit and my nerves kicked in and guts emptied. I haven’t played solo live for many years, Over a decade. So being totally shitted up occurred. Its not so traumatic in the Idolins. As I can just concentrate on my instrument and let the others sing.

The unexplained dread, trauma, nausea… trying to pass on a song to Karen, my Idolins bandmate. Just so I only had to do 2.  It’s not rational, no one dies during gigs…. usually. It’s not torture. But I always gets in a state. Running away would be easy, except the unsigned guilt trip of the underachiever.

Those moments before and plug in my guitar are hell. I try to ‘have a word,’ with myself. Get pep talks off friends and bandmates. Still the worry, anxiety rules.  I passed out into a slumber at that point.

Ange, wifey video’d 2 of them.

Unusual Haunts-YouTube

and

Sonic World-YouTube

I normally close my eyes while playing, but made an extra special effort. Plus I had my lyrics on a stool. Nerves give me amnesia.  Seeing a wave of nodding heads and smiles felt wonderful. I had a group of good friends sat behind me. My wife making filthy gestures in front. Yet again. Why oh why did I get myself into such a state before hand. But as they all say. If you arent nervous, you don’t perform to the best of your ability. Or you are just off your face on drugs and booze.

Catching up with fellow musicians, Joe Beagle and Roj Whitham for my formative years of music was great. I’m now intrigued by penny whistles and sheeps wool shearing insulation.

Great night!

I awoke with a banging head. Too much black sambuca. The kebab tasted wonderful. We both cant remember going to bed. Let Rambo in who was miaowing at the front door. That was 5am. During the following hours. He proceeded to jump on us, miaow, poke, claw and fight with Pattie. Pegging it up and down the stairs. Oh what joy I thought. One day I will get a lay in.  A big breakfast at the carvery followed.

We then opened a can of worms getting the Xmas tree out of the loft. This bloody loft is the bane of my existence. For the last 6 months I’ve ended regularly up in it. Either looking for stuff, emptying it for cavity wall insulation workmen. To my horror it was wet through with dripps ruining all of our stuff. Mold, sloppy cardboard boxes. I just swore and swore and shouted and swore more. Crippled my back and arms faffing about sorting the mess.  It took and hour to sort and my Dad and Brother coming round to save the day. Turns out the workmen had blocked up all ventilation. Plus cold damp weather = drips and drips on everything. Eventually we managed the planned walk around the lake. A sunny winters day. Good to get out in the daylight at last .  I’ve felt like a vampire recently. Get up go to work in the dark, get home in the dark. Quite depressing. But candles on, exercise and meditation is doing wonders.  Got some beautiful pics. Here…

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photo 2

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I’m busy drawing ideas for The Idolins Ep cover art and emailing photos. Once decided by all of the band what the collective likes. We can crack on with release. I’m ready for a day off! Oh no its Monday tomorrow. Back to the day job.