From Rage to Change. Shopping Solutions

It’s that time of year when the dark mornings and dark nights make me feel rather domesticated and a little down. In reality; I’m spending it writing the next book and recording 2 more meditation albums so the sun shines all year round!
To make our life easier and time manage around the full time jobs. I’m not spending it with the general public any more than I have to… I can assure you of that!
I got to the point of meltdown after working 18 years in retail. Customer Zombie Shopocalypse.. The moaning, oh the moaning! Dirty looks, aisle rage. People standing talking, blocking aisles. People getting in my way. Smelly folk, defecation, kids screaming… the Saturday midday rush when everyone and their horse came in in cause chaos queues. ( I’d go for my lunch break .. Conveniently ) Oh it’s all in my ebook.. Claudsville Blogs and Biog of a Bog Woppit. It came to the point where I decided my time away from work was not going to be spent amongst this nightmare.
Occasionally, we do make the mistake and swiftly realise that. Stress on Saturday lunchtimes in a rammed supermarket is hellish and drives my blood pressure to blowing the choo choo danger! Time yourself how long you spend shopping. What would you rather be doing?
The answer and the future. Is internet shopping for us. We have embraced in in our home. If we arrange a delivery for between 8 and 10pm. We can sometimes get it for as little as £1. Bargain. We can control budgets, avoid impulse buying and compare prices.
After checking the ‘mysupermarket’ app for the best price on out cat food sachets, bulk, frozen, tinned, tampons, bog roll, laundry, deodorants and the rest. All get picked for us. We don’t order fresh as like to go local and pick ourselves. That is our only shopping excursion.
It’s Asda all the way with a hint of Morrison’s and occasionally Sainsbury’s (If we are feeling rich)
Lidl is the place to go for us. It has some right good bits in it. It saves us shed loads of money compared to the ‘big supermarkets.’ (Watch out, your greediness will be your downfall!) Aldi is opening shops all over the place near us so they will be tried too. I’ve seen a marked increase of customers buying brands different to the ‘name brands of old.’ I’m no longer a label snob. I buy and try new products. Being more health conscious than ever nowadays. ‘Fat bitch treats’ are great.. In small doses. A weekend of fruit, homemade bread, soups and lots of water and tea makes us feel a hell of a lot better than, kebabs and festive gateaux. Its slow cooker time now too.. Easy life! We don’t spend on booze as rarely drink. We got to an age where addictions and hangovers did not serve our existence well.
Amazon and eBay serve everything else, from my guitar strings, to vitamins to just about everything else. The car boot serves as a fun Sunday am Junk snoop.
As society evolves, I do hope the future gets all ‘Star Treky’ and with the push of a button drinks and dinner are served. But then there is the satisfaction of making things from scratch and living a simple existence. Mark my words… Self service started it. Don’t expect cashiers and queues to be around for too much longer. Behold the revolution. Embrace or stress yourselves with rage.
~ C

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People who get drenched by vehicles driving past in the rain

The victims of road puddle splash by incidents make me cry laughing. I’m sorry. I can’t help it. Yes it’s happened to me. But I laugh.

Today I riffled again at this poor person: I know the very bus stop. It is like a Tsunami when it rains. Queues of people get drenched. I now stand near by. I have chuckled out loud after a wave has hit an innocent. It happened again today! This was posted to the bus company via Facebook. Brilliant!

“Absolutely fuming, one of your brown line buses that was out of service drove past me five minutes ago whilst waiting outside city hospital bus stop on Hucknall road. Driver drove so fast through a puddle I am now absolutely drenched, got dirty water in my ear, eyes , face and hair even though I was stood well back from the road. After a twelve hour shift its the worst possible way to end my day, not impressed whatsoever.”

The Walking Dead Dream Apocalypse V’s Jersey Housewives!

The Walking Dead season 5. After watching last nights episode, venting, frustrated at having to wait until next Monday again at 9pm never mind how tired I am. I’m sat her watching Jersey housewives with the very thought…. Make up? Is nothing more than a disguise. Creating a false confidence and mask.  Plastered on by spectacularly shallow insecure and sometimes spoilt people to hide who they really are. My GOD THE COW FILLED LIPS! Some zombies are more attractive, useful and less caked in it!

The slight irritation of the reckless now voice broken Carl “CORAAAL, WHERE THE HELL IS CORAAAL?” Grimes and Ricks amazing ability to heal. His possible flirting with a more human Michonne is intriguing. We cried at Lori’s death having developed a huge crush on her during Prison Break.

But I wanted more zombies and gore!

We have already planned our moves, action and plans for the zombie apocalypse. If it occurs? We have the place, the plan to get supplies and sustainability for survival. Two 30 something’s on our weekend walks by the river, have set out some seriously great ideas for survival and build a future.

Masquerade by Claudine West

Masquerade by Claudine West

To top last nights shouts of “oh no, more more more,bastard next week!” I had nothing to fear except myself. As I slept my subconscious took over and gave me the most horrific gore fest, trapped in a house with zombies dream. Had my version been taped. It would have beaten said episode hands down on the horror stakes. What messed with my mind more what that if felt completely real. This is a curse and a blessing in my dream life. With friends ‘turning’ and closed doors containing rooms and corridors of creatures of rage and bloodlust. Being chased and trapped is one of my worse fears! So thank you Waking Dead. Not only are you my current favorite TV program. All of the George A Romero films I grew up with pale into insignificance.  The 1985 Day of the Dead was watched over and over by me. Reveling in the gore. The amount of poor zombie film around nowadays, fills up LOVEFiLM with one and two star ratings. Disappointing. Claudine’s dreams 8/10.

Choices

So that time comes when we make a choice, the choice that will change one’s history and future. That choice that has been bothering me for ages. That choice that was forced when things all of a sudden changed into something that didn’t feel so good.

On a beach. One can choose to stay in the sand and shade. Or enter the sea and float in the sunshine, wherever it takes me.

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I think when one is pummelled with stress after stress and challenge after challenge. The belief in good sinks under the ocean. Body and mind tired.  Tolerance of others fades. Being surrounded by lots of people in crisis is incredibly draining. One revaluates what is truly important. My sanity, my health, my relationship, my family. The other things.  Am I getting the pleasure from doing some of those things anymore? Or have things changed for the worse? Do I have the energy to keep producing the good stuff when others can’t?  When did all of a sudden I become nothingness? When did the thing that I created become a thing that less qualified others controlled?

I have immense problems with people who think they are superior and better than me. That’s not my insecurity. It just damn rude! Yes how very dare you. Some undervalue or are simply unaware of my talents, works and achievements. I find it disrespectful and insulting.  Experience and respect is gained over many years of working at ones fortes.  That’s doesn’t also mean that’s an excuse to power trip and treat others as inferior.  Qualifications are great. I’ve met many with qualifications that aren’t worth toilet paper. How and why they got them as I see no evidence of behaviours, knowledge or anything leaned is baffling. Is a wise man that has survived many winters on a mountain qualified to help you survive?  Or the kid that thinks they know it all?  Then there is that teamwork thing, that diplomacy.  Teams contain leaders. Leaders that focus on a result ultimately have the final word, even if some don’t like that decision. We all sometimes don’t get our own way.  As one climbs the ranks, one leans a lot and passes down side ways and upwards wisdom.

You see that very wise mountain man survived so long because the villagers fed him. He’d once helped out woodworking. He was a very popular, charming and well liked man. He didn’t feed himself; others did as a kind of exchange for his work. After time he became unmotivated, life must be easier than this. He slowed down. Taking twice as long with his work.  Eventually he stopped making things, just relied on others charity.  He became lazy. This caused discontentment. Eventually the villagers took a vote. They stopped giving him their charity and he stood alone. He became weak. He fell to his knees.  They felt oh so guilty. Those same people rescued him and fed him again. He rested on his laurels.  “Ah those idiots,” he thought. He’d sit on his porch, feet up laughing to himself. He’d succeeded on fooling them feeling sorry for him. They were bad people if they stopped feeding him. They were all so stupid! That’s where he got it wrong.  Eventually someone got pissed off and shot him dead and burned is house down. Then spat, shit and pissed on his pancakes and walked away. Life and productivity in the village bloomed. People had the time and energy now they weren’t climbing that mountain every day. People went from being disgruntled and guilty to being contented. That man was soon forgotten about, as he never made his mark. It was always take, take, take. He’d played on his age.  Used the sympathy vote. That man was more capable than most, He just could not be arsed. People see saw through him. Not all, but some.  Some are very good at spouting believable bullshit.

There are people in this world that have a dictionary of excuses for themselves, that never take responsibility. Time runs out eventually.  Things always catch up.

There is a big difference between supporting and carrying people. There is a difference between the reputation and their perceived reputation.  We make an effort in this life, or we ride on the waves of others efforts. Some have no choice; life has been harsh in body, mind and experiences. Some are just too damaged.  Some focus and manifest ill heath as earning a crust is far too frightening and takes an effort. Some believe the world owes them something. The world owes you nothing. Some do the bare minimum, while others work their arses off for the same reward. Infuriating isn’t it!

So I retreat into my own healing. I surround myself with meditations and positive energies. Good people.  Sometimes the best thing to do is to walk away.  The ones that interfere, read between the lines, defend the undependable, scream the loudest. Confess responsibility of wrongdoing by outburst alone.

Implementing of change is challenging, It upsets people. I’ve done it. They fear it. They call you names, they try to harm you, they try to pressure you to stop, and they take the piss out of you. They rant about how absolutely great and right they are.  You may not get invites to their parties. But it’s not about popularity. It’s about what one wants to achieve with a project. It’s about fairness for all.  To evolve and progress. We must change.  To be open-minded is liberating. To keep banging out the same frustrations, stagnates a creative soul.  In the moments of true clarity. One asks oneself?  What do I need out of all of this? It’s not all about you. You may think it is. It is not.

Youth brings much arrogance. Age brings much stubbornness. The middle is when you find your true self. Do you listen to the masses that have decided you are wrong?  The masses that have a dictionary of excuses. The moment they are challenged. They attempt turn it around, like you are the bad person.  Or do you follow your instinct knowing that they really are. Time will prove you right. Some big corporations are rotten to the core.  Once they get away with stuff the first time, they continue and screw people over more. Eventually someone has enough. Some take a shotgun. Some take a grievance. Some expose the wrong ‘uns. Some just leave as there is no hope.

I will always stand my ground and up for myself as the world is full of losers wanting a free ride and to fuck you over on that journey. I sadly see happening more and more.  To agree to disagree is different from not listening to full potential. Closing doors on new ideas shuts you in a box.  A masterpiece can be scribbled in chalk. It is not necessary a polished diamond.  Getting problems discussed and resolved is far better than letting disillusionment built up. When things blow people go….

 I stand at the crossroads and.