Beep Beep Boop

Have you ever been asked a question that you never, ever expected? There is the thing of being given sudden terrible news that shocks. But asked the question I got asked today. Ready… “Have you got glass in your glasses?” (should have gone to Specsavers.. I did!)

IMG_8971 Last time I checked my spectacles did have the needed lenses that help correct my short sightedness. I was torn for a moment of being extremely sarcastic, but chose to be professional. How mature am I? Maybe my new glasses cleaner is amazing? Why I would trot around with frames catching flies in my eyes is beyond me. When I was at school, a few of us went though the wearing John Lennon clear specs stage. The thrill of wearing prescription glasses kind of wore off after a while. Contact lenses, long days at a computer in hot environments leads to more spec wearing nowadays. Even thought I tend to fling off my double-glazing at the weekend and days out. So that was today. Nothing shocking in the strange life that presents itself on a daily basis.

Last night we spent the evening amongst a packed crowd at Nottingham’s Rock City (A venue I grew up in.. From the age of 15) throwing piss over each other. We watched the brilliant Mariachi El Bronx http://www.mariachielbronx.com/ (Mesmerised by their drummer) and Gorgol Bordello http://www.gogolbordello.com/ (Mesmerised by their accordion Player)

IMG_8950

The vintage aromas of beer farts were ‘heave’ inducing and have sickened my whole being. Identifying the perpetrator was impossible. As one point a woman behind me shouted “Jesus, It wasn’t me!”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xey-d7iwhn0 That makes my flesh crawl!

To top it off tonight. Pattie, one of our cats. Waits. Yes she waits. She has a habit of waiting until we get home from work. Well saving some. To offload her bowels into her litter tray. This then makes us cough and laugh at whoever has to bag it up. Is it normal for female pussies to play for hours outside to come back inside to poopy? She was a stray and quite special.

So I end 2014 with a catalogue of work I’m proud of musically. https://claudsville.wordpress.com/discography/

and my book! http://www.amazon.co.uk/Claudsville-Blogs-Biog-Bog-Woppit-ebook/dp/B00M5IR94K

With winter ends with me enjoying a few TV programmes: The Walking Dead, The Strain and The Fall. Two of those created nightmares, the other fantasy. Thanks G.A! The next few months bring more writing and recording. Continued work on my new book, which is fiction. Character development is new to me and quite exciting, as I enter their world. The Robin and San Francisco connection is intriguing. Live band work beckons with Subway Circus. CV updated and new job applications commencing January, as its time to evolve again. I haven’t worked my arse off to become stagnant and frustrated. One can’t create positive change and encourage evolution unless one is in a position to do so.

With Spring, new beginnings and the sunshine I crave. Ange and I have celebrated 6 years together in 2014. Our life is together feels like it’s new. I made her favourite Nipple pie yesterday.

nipple pie

Along with a nice long hot bath and candles. Ooh look it not even Valentines Day either! It’s the little things…. Every day. 2014, I had a few wobbles, questioned my sanity, had to take time off to sort stresses. My PMT and mood has evolved due to challenging circumstances. So I wrote a new album about it. Documenting what happened and how one feels is liberating. “The Narcissist and the Inbetween” Is one of the truest pieces of work I’ve ever written, performed and recorded. Digital therapy! Recording meditation music is blissful. It’s recorded live as it has to be alive, so no computer cheats. It was also good time to revaluate my career. I’ve also closed a door. I’ve noticed and increase of selfish folks. Who have a very high self-important belief. Ego is not becoming. Being completely oblivious, as to how obnoxious you actually are. Ooh dear! What a palaver. Not in my world.

As the UK coughs and splutters, enjoys more bouts of D and V in the cold and darkness. My world of potential and creativity again lights up. Bring on a starry night and a beautiful dawn in 2015.

FullSizeRender

Works 2014 Claudine West #claudsville

2014 has been a rather productive year. Eventful, traumatic, stressful circumstances,  inspirational gatherings. Synchronicity. Doors have closed, portals have opened.  Its shown me true colours of people, shallowness and selfishness. Wave surfers. Who will continue to achieve nothingness and take all the credit for it too. Enjoy that! Its allowed me to relax with my kind of people. Meet new kind and wonderful souls. My key word is #likeminded  It’s shown me that a lot of folk need encouragement and help. Its also shown me that I don’t require the bad ones in my life or proximity.  What’s been laid to rest is inactivity. I’ve always been driven to create and unleash what becomes. Making the most of time on this planet has been satisfying to say the least. Who know how much longer I have left. I hope its many years. There, through the course of things has had to be changes made. To better my well being in body, minds and spirit. Lots more of continued effort in 2015.

So here is a list and links of this year. It wasn’t easy. Yes I turned the TV off. Did not party hard and lay wrecked and dormant every weekend. I worked and produced a body of work I’m proud of. Its not stagnant, what some perceive to be ‘perfect.’ What it is a very alive embodiment of me, what I am and what I do. Having words channel through oneself is a thrilling and hypnotic experience. I’ve found a great joy in writing. 2015 will produce a new book of fiction under a pen name.  Thanks to friends for planting a great idea for it. It evolves each time I sit in our healing room. I’ve got 2 new meditation/ collaboration  releases in the pipeline.  So part time day job is on the list! ;-0

Image

Enjoy, learn, listen.

Solo album: The Narcissist and the Inbetween.

I’ve a few personal favourites ‘Exceptional Believers’  ‘Exit of the Crush’ Writing and recording this has been rather fabulous therapy. #demons

Then there is of course my book. What can I say? Read it.

  Number 1 ebook bestseller : Claudsville Blogs and Biog of a Bog Woppit

number 1

Then I began adventures in meditation music recording a 3 track Guided Meditation CD with an amazing tutor and insightful soul, Sally Wathen at Rainbow Bridge  I can only highly recommend her if you need to sort your shit out!

Ange, my wife and I then ventured into our ‘ Meditation Chronicles ‘ Along with Ange running courses, me providing the soundtrack to them. You can listen to and  purchase on most digital stores including Spotify, Amazon and iTunes.

Listen: Meditation Chronicles

MOONTOWNS 2

So with a few new paintings. I’m rather chuffed.

IMG_8722

Choices

So that time comes when we make a choice, the choice that will change one’s history and future. That choice that has been bothering me for ages. That choice that was forced when things all of a sudden changed into something that didn’t feel so good.

On a beach. One can choose to stay in the sand and shade. Or enter the sea and float in the sunshine, wherever it takes me.

Image

I think when one is pummelled with stress after stress and challenge after challenge. The belief in good sinks under the ocean. Body and mind tired.  Tolerance of others fades. Being surrounded by lots of people in crisis is incredibly draining. One revaluates what is truly important. My sanity, my health, my relationship, my family. The other things.  Am I getting the pleasure from doing some of those things anymore? Or have things changed for the worse? Do I have the energy to keep producing the good stuff when others can’t?  When did all of a sudden I become nothingness? When did the thing that I created become a thing that less qualified others controlled?

I have immense problems with people who think they are superior and better than me. That’s not my insecurity. It just damn rude! Yes how very dare you. Some undervalue or are simply unaware of my talents, works and achievements. I find it disrespectful and insulting.  Experience and respect is gained over many years of working at ones fortes.  That’s doesn’t also mean that’s an excuse to power trip and treat others as inferior.  Qualifications are great. I’ve met many with qualifications that aren’t worth toilet paper. How and why they got them as I see no evidence of behaviours, knowledge or anything leaned is baffling. Is a wise man that has survived many winters on a mountain qualified to help you survive?  Or the kid that thinks they know it all?  Then there is that teamwork thing, that diplomacy.  Teams contain leaders. Leaders that focus on a result ultimately have the final word, even if some don’t like that decision. We all sometimes don’t get our own way.  As one climbs the ranks, one leans a lot and passes down side ways and upwards wisdom.

You see that very wise mountain man survived so long because the villagers fed him. He’d once helped out woodworking. He was a very popular, charming and well liked man. He didn’t feed himself; others did as a kind of exchange for his work. After time he became unmotivated, life must be easier than this. He slowed down. Taking twice as long with his work.  Eventually he stopped making things, just relied on others charity.  He became lazy. This caused discontentment. Eventually the villagers took a vote. They stopped giving him their charity and he stood alone. He became weak. He fell to his knees.  They felt oh so guilty. Those same people rescued him and fed him again. He rested on his laurels.  “Ah those idiots,” he thought. He’d sit on his porch, feet up laughing to himself. He’d succeeded on fooling them feeling sorry for him. They were bad people if they stopped feeding him. They were all so stupid! That’s where he got it wrong.  Eventually someone got pissed off and shot him dead and burned is house down. Then spat, shit and pissed on his pancakes and walked away. Life and productivity in the village bloomed. People had the time and energy now they weren’t climbing that mountain every day. People went from being disgruntled and guilty to being contented. That man was soon forgotten about, as he never made his mark. It was always take, take, take. He’d played on his age.  Used the sympathy vote. That man was more capable than most, He just could not be arsed. People see saw through him. Not all, but some.  Some are very good at spouting believable bullshit.

There are people in this world that have a dictionary of excuses for themselves, that never take responsibility. Time runs out eventually.  Things always catch up.

There is a big difference between supporting and carrying people. There is a difference between the reputation and their perceived reputation.  We make an effort in this life, or we ride on the waves of others efforts. Some have no choice; life has been harsh in body, mind and experiences. Some are just too damaged.  Some focus and manifest ill heath as earning a crust is far too frightening and takes an effort. Some believe the world owes them something. The world owes you nothing. Some do the bare minimum, while others work their arses off for the same reward. Infuriating isn’t it!

So I retreat into my own healing. I surround myself with meditations and positive energies. Good people.  Sometimes the best thing to do is to walk away.  The ones that interfere, read between the lines, defend the undependable, scream the loudest. Confess responsibility of wrongdoing by outburst alone.

Implementing of change is challenging, It upsets people. I’ve done it. They fear it. They call you names, they try to harm you, they try to pressure you to stop, and they take the piss out of you. They rant about how absolutely great and right they are.  You may not get invites to their parties. But it’s not about popularity. It’s about what one wants to achieve with a project. It’s about fairness for all.  To evolve and progress. We must change.  To be open-minded is liberating. To keep banging out the same frustrations, stagnates a creative soul.  In the moments of true clarity. One asks oneself?  What do I need out of all of this? It’s not all about you. You may think it is. It is not.

Youth brings much arrogance. Age brings much stubbornness. The middle is when you find your true self. Do you listen to the masses that have decided you are wrong?  The masses that have a dictionary of excuses. The moment they are challenged. They attempt turn it around, like you are the bad person.  Or do you follow your instinct knowing that they really are. Time will prove you right. Some big corporations are rotten to the core.  Once they get away with stuff the first time, they continue and screw people over more. Eventually someone has enough. Some take a shotgun. Some take a grievance. Some expose the wrong ‘uns. Some just leave as there is no hope.

I will always stand my ground and up for myself as the world is full of losers wanting a free ride and to fuck you over on that journey. I sadly see happening more and more.  To agree to disagree is different from not listening to full potential. Closing doors on new ideas shuts you in a box.  A masterpiece can be scribbled in chalk. It is not necessary a polished diamond.  Getting problems discussed and resolved is far better than letting disillusionment built up. When things blow people go….

 I stand at the crossroads and.  

The brilliant Choices V’s Consequences Chores Chart.

So I got a little miffed about the amount of chores and housework I was doing on top of my full time job. Comparing this to the light of my lifes household input. The woman that I married and share my life with. I became disgruntled. Something had to be done. A retraining, re inventing, reiterating was needed. Having chortled about it at work. A plan was concocted. Some catalogues with useful pictures were donated.  We executed it the other evening. This in itself created a domestic!

So points are given and ticked off for such tasks as changing the cat litter, putting the bin out, recycling, hoovering, cooking, cleaning, washing up. Putting the laundry away, not just throwing it in a heap.  You tick it. These points add up to prizes such as massage, foot rub, zit squeeze for 10 minutes. A night where the other has to do all of the chores without grumble. This chart also contains the irritations and bad habits. Scoring bad points.  Farting in bed, making the other heave and cough, smoking at band rehearsals, not scrubbing stinky armpits before bed, being patronising, not leaving boiler cupboard door open… And so on, yes some of the irritating things. Are marked as bad. This chart is not designed to dictate our life. Its more an experiment. So I can, without argument show how much extra shit I have to do! Prove a point!

With every choice one makes, there is consequence. That can be good or bad!

So varying scores

Image from hitting 10 points plus. For good I get to choose my reward. For bad. Ange chooses my punishment. Or I choose hers. You get the drift.  I’ve chosen pampering as my rewards. Not that I don’t get plenty of it. Just nice to have even more after a hard day in the office. Ange, with her favourite foot rubs on tap, who is addicted tea. Has chosen it to be made for her for a week! Claudmaid!

Upon my suggestion of a bad consequence. (Knowing full well she loves tea) I said she must drink only water for a day.(hardship I know) Well… She went apeshit! Saying I’m punishing her and herbal tea should be included. I said no! Water is pure and monks drink it. The argument escalated to her trying to implement with immediate effect my crisp and chocolate ban consequence.(I see that asa good opportunity and motivation to lose pounds) I then suggested she only drink water for a month. She went more apeshit! Its truly really hit a nerve. I asked her to stand back and look at her ridiculous reaction. (While laughing)

She shouted she would never do what I told her. Drinking water for a month was ridiculous! (God knows what the neighbours thought, probably hearing the rant through the walls) I said I could see her, in her self imposed bitch fit, ripping our chart off the fridge. Achieving nothing. I mean the whole point is to share the housework equally. I had been doing nearly all of it. But had stopped doing most of the washing up. Leaving it for Ange. Just to prove a point.

So we are in our 3rd day. Ange is winning due a stroke of cleaning opportunity (I was out rehearsing with the band last night) She came home from work to carnage. We’d kept out cat, Rambo in for two nights as its been cold and wet. His protects was to bypass the litter tray. Shit on the landing, shit on the bottom of the stairs and piss on the sofa. Little git! So bar snow and another ice age. He can go out. He’s got fur! He sits on porch wall poking his head up to the front door glass faffing about. In and out, in and out! We don’t own this house so no cat flap. I’ve build one into the shed in the garden. Rambo is scared of it. Goes in but cant work out how to get out and wails! As she cleaned the litter tray. out other cat Pattie copped a squat on the newspaper. Both kitties had planned their assault on us together during the day.

So Ange point scored loads cleaning that lot up. I’m not concerned. It won’t take me long to catch up and reap the rewards.

Spring means one thing…change. Good change.

Spring is here.

Image

Yes Snow chaos in the UK.  So glad we invested in new snow boots and coats for the ever-evolving seasons to wet, wet and wet. Gregorian Monk chants have now been replaced with Led Zeppelin, The Doors and Pink Floyd.

Discovery is an enlightening experience.  If I learn something every week. I know I’m doing well. I’ve been working my kebabs off lately finishing my Reiki certificate homework, NVQ Merit work. Creating art, designing stuff for our Earth Tree Healing Projects. Attending a great course ‘Liberating The Talents’ for personal development (Thank you NHS) all helps with my career path and ambitions.

I’ve had the lurgy for a good few weeks now. So overwork, no rest working 12 days on the trot in the hospital. Wiped Claudsvilles vagazzle out. Luckily I have some great work colleagues that when the going gets tough. Sit quietly and let me snore on my lunch break. Plus some good daily banter and music is refreshing.

As one door closes day job wise another few open. Fate handed us a break. Then said. RIGHT its really time to crack on now with Earth Tree Healing. So you are gonna get a slap round the chops and no choice but to do it now!! One giant leap of faith required. A few tears and fears. Then determination. Then our cat shat on the bathroom mat, I tripped over and we both laughed so very much.

The forces of darkness are bullying the lightworkers, testing us. Faith, belief, positive mental attitude. Knowing, seeing the goal is in reach. Life is learning and tests. As the saying goes. It’s not what happens, its how you handle it.

I’ve been experiencing so very weird dreams lately. My messages come through them. The knowing of being watched and influenced has been dealt with. Our time, minds and privacy are ours again. Some people can lead you down the wrong path. Well the path they believe is our one. But actually. It’s the one they want. In reality, it was a diversion to learn a few painful lessons. My detour is at and end. I crossed over and am now ‘walking the walk’ slowly but surely on the right road.

I’m looking forward to gigs and recording with the Idolins.  & other music projects. Now my time is freed up.

I’m actually looking forward to mowing the lawn. I find it therapeutic. Even though it’s tiny. Planting our food and lots of lovely plants is going to be fun this year. I need to be surrounded by greenery. A paradise.

Working on a new art project with old guitars (Watch this space) Creating brings me so much joy.

I collected my new spectacles today to the enjoyment of Ange pissing herself at how I say spectacles!! “OOOH I CAN SEE”

Nice to have non contact lens days in the dust. Ange is sat next to me shouting and squeaking impersonations of me now cracking herself up. (OOH I love people reading over my shoulder)

We’ve been raising the vibrations of our home, cleansing, burning Anges incense. Laughter, love, harmony.

Enlightenment, Oneness, Reiki

When you experience a ‘happening’ your world perception changes. I’m privileged. I’m a student of ‘Reiki East and West’ (West Bridgford, Nottingham, UK). The teachings of two wonderful Reiki Masters can only respectfully compare to Yoda.
The last two years have been emotional, life changing and frankly needed. Things happen, opportunities arise, fate nudges you. I discovered a gift of healing. During drunken band rehearsals/writing sessions(I’m a musician btw). I discovered I could detect injuries/energy imbalances by feeling heat in my hands effectively ‘scanning people.’ At the time I really didn’t know how, why. I went with the flow. A Mentor and family member sat me down one day in Wales (@our Circle HQ, I’d like to say the expanding group of us practice more to the Pagan belief system. More of that to come in other blogs) gave me a lecture (a good lecture) about my ego.(bad, mad,angry, addicted, intimidating, lost, messed up completely, and negative old me.)
The Powers that be ‘PTB’ and that “Eureka” moment, made sure the ‘please go back to England and study Reiki.asap’ message got through. I was born with the gift of musical hands. Creating things and using my hands is what I do, what I am.
From that day on. I began to slowly but surely making positive changes in my life.
I had Reiki western Attunement level 1. A year later (I had lots of work on myself to practice; The demons, hurt, upset; rage that initially came to the surface and out of me truly wasn’t pleasant. But keeping it all in was toxic.)
) I had Japanese Shoden Reiki level 1 Attunement by the same Reiki Master and my teacher. I personally felt the energies and techniques suited me better. Rather than the westernised teachings.
Guess what? Life has gotten better, I’m happier, healthier. I’m now (as of April 1st 2011) hand fasted (we class ourselves as married to the most wonderful soul and saviour I could ever meet)
During the ‘oneness’ Attunement for my Okuden Degree (2nd level Reiki)
I became an energy, a light. I felt no physical body, no physical me. But I knew it was me, a ‘higher level’ me. I just ‘became’ and existed as blissfulness, togetherness. I existed in, was felt like a terracotta/orange temple. Floating in the middle of a big shiny floor in a large room. Oneness. I created this picture to manifest physically the warmth I felt and the ball of energy I became.I’ve never in my life, my dreams every experiences what I can only describe as a ‘happening’. This confirms I can achieve my path to enlightenment. Not to fear loss of the physical body.
Successful Reiki practice is about commitment and finding the time daily. I find it challenging fitting everything around working full time. Practicing Reiki and helping people is rewarding. The more I practice, the more I understand, the more relaxed I feel treating people. The stronger the Reiki energy. The more balanced I feel. It’s a wellbeing I haven’t felt before.
Successfully working through emotional injuries, is like opening a jammed window and finally letting fresh air into a stale negative room.
The more natural and organic things I consume, the better I feel. Increasing my physical exercise and sending more time with nature (We changed day jobs, moved house and currently live by a lake, river and country park. I feel more alive and balanced than ever before. The more I work with the meditations, exercises practice mindfulness and oneness, The more humble, committed, amazed. I am grateful.

20121209-120240.jpg