Day 5 Hello LA

12.10.17 Today we waved goodbye to San Francisco 


…for now and flew through smokey skies to Los Angeles. 

Video here

With my Brother turning into Sweary Mary every time I recorded a video clip. (I’m clearly Angelic and never utter such words) 

Whilst choosing the Dodge rental from the row. Ange ad my Bto clearly did not see the bloke sat in his choice. Ignoring the warning from us. They both proceeded to open the boot and door. He hastily drove off while we pissed. 


Checking into Knott’s Berry Farm Hotel. It feels like a proper holiday hotel. We stuffed our faces with burgers and some Mahosive pizza. Dropped the kids off st the pool. Then headed out to Long Beach. I was grateful to be sat in the front. As poor Ange and Adele bore the brunt of the air con blow back brother fart. 

Heading off to Long Beach for a paddle and Ice Cream. I got foot pecked by a pigeon. Then Alfred Hitchcock and the cast of birds from ‘The Birds’ descended for some waffle cone! 


After doing their Mitch Buchannon impressions. ( I had chortled at the new Baywatch on the plane from the UK)


We then drove off to look at The Wueen Mary Ship Hotel 

With the Englishman in LA, I’m sure my Bro after this one trip now has at least 2 parking tickets and a ‘Running the stop sign fine’ heading his way :-0 


Going supermarket shopping for snacks on the way home. Resulted in more Cheetos (omg I love them) for me and the only shite English tea bags we could find for Ange’s addiction to tea. She has been in withdrawal for days now. Is almost not herself. Any longer and she will break! Watching her try to salvage a simple cup using a coffee percolater was desperate. I must now intervene and search google maps to find a proper tea place! 

Never mind what happens. You can’t beat a good squirt! 


Could Diet Squirt be the new box ticker?

With Adele, my Sister-in-Law almost having  an Memory Lane laughing fit Tena Lady binge pop pants asthma attack. As we drove past a 7-11. (my bro years ago had been too busy looking at his phone, not seeing the bright yellow raised curb before the glass entrance doors. Proceeded to trip and go flying into and through them with such s bang. Everyone turned, went quiet and asked him if he was ok. He tried to act casual. Adele was nearly hospitalised due to not being able to catch her breath and near asthma attack, due to laughing so much. Even though I was not there, I can fully visualise this and the noise, also due to the memories of accidents my ‘accident prone’ Bro had when we were kids.  

An evening poo and then dip in the jacuzzi followed by lager, chilli cheese dip with hit pretzels. Set are arses up for Univeral Studios tomorrow! 


I really, really like Los Angeles. 

Recovery, lurgy, brandy = Sorted! 

Recovery for me from the latest ‘winter lurgy’ is aided by numerous distractions. One the initial sore throat, congestion, aches, feeling outside myself occurs. The all night murmurs of night nurse sooth my sleep. Upon waking it’s just wrong. Dragging oneself to work, when the duvet would be my tomb and my healing womb. The cats my nurses. Sitting on my chest and tummy like the fluffy residue that has ejaculated during morning showers. Should be illegal. Sickness policies also punish and ensure guilt for the genuine. Today the irritating cough throat tickle has subsided. My sinuses of course are behind the times. They need to calm and embalm with fresh forests, springtime and sunshine. Oh how I miss the daylight. How I currently crave blue skies in what seems… An existence of a mole in the dark.
  

Every year I promise myself it’s going to be different. Even though health improvements have been initiated. I was struck with the lurgy lightening bolt. Wow… It’s tiresome! I lived. I live. The feeling of rebirth upon full recovery is rather astounding. Fresh and fanciful. After stayed death and rancid pools of snot and a subsidiary of phlegm.co.uk 
As all around are dropping like flies. Filling chairs in Doctors surgeries. Being told to drink water and take paracetamol by pharmacies. 

  
Hot real lemon and Manuka honey. Water. Green tea. Bananas. Apples. Multi vitamins and minerals. Avocados took me to the mellowing.   
Sometimes ones had that many viruses. It gets a little easier. 

Brandy made it better tonight. 

  

Rounders At 40!

I’m sat here aching. I’m struggling and ‘wusslike’ after such fun on a sunny Sunday afternoon. A rather brilliant weekend I might add. It began on a tired friday afternoon. The nature of my day job, means lots of walking around hospitals sorting problems out and trying to avoid problems. Friday afternoons is mostly, a ‘catch up on emails and finish off the week.’ Not this one. So feeling tired and aching like a bitches anal gland.  After helping sort another crisis. Home at last! Then, off out to band rehearsals. Due to a broken computer at our usual studio. Ange had to book a last minute one elsewhere. Arriving in the car. I noted how sunburnt Dave, our bass player looked. I commented. Only then to realise. It was the 4 flights of stairs he has lugged equipment up, that actually caused the rouge rupture look. So with already aching legs I ascended with my cymbals. (Swearing profusely and trying not to be rude and seem ungrateful at the no lift situation!)  In a very small room hot and sweltering like a greenhouse without glass. I felt like a borrower in a dolls house attic. About to have a claustrophobic panic attack. (that what its all about though.. it’s fun, really it is! ) Talk of new songs called bearded clams, razor face, big bag of weed.  Blinded by one’s own sweat. The horrific trickle down ones back that ends slithering into one’s bum crack. That night’s smell of ‘off’ biscuits will haunt me forever I thought it was my trainers…!!. Thank goodness for showers and washing machines! Have as remarked before its never wise to sniff a drummers drum stool after a gig? #advice there for you ;-0   It was nice getting a round of applause after performing ‘Weevil K’inevil’ from studio staff and appreciative visitors/other band. Then offered a possible gig too. Brucie Bonus! Now we are not a band that sings our own praises and promotes how fooking wonderful and amazing we all are. Thats for delusional, up their own arse cock nuggets. Which tend to hear something different that what a talented ear can hear. Anyway… I slept like a damp log in the dark Friday night.

Saturday AM arrived. Truly excited. We headed off to pick up PP our Subway Circus vocalist and tootled off to Abbey Lane studios in Derby. Even though we are Nottingham based. Fate, cancellations, offers, thoughts and finds and gut instincts  lead us there.  We weren’t disappointed. With the faint sound of troffing cobs and crisps in my headphones before live takes. I chuckled at my past rock and roll lifestyle choices. Musing my non hangover the next day. You can read the full blog and see some pics/ videos here BLOG- SUBWAY CIRCUS ABBEY ROAD

What a brilliant day! We got offered a gig there too!  Then.. a rush back to Nottingham.  A friend’s birthday dinner (great Tapas) and a few drinkies. Eventually we got home. Exhausted but very contented and happy.

Sunday AM It started with rain. But then the sun came again. A band and friends gathering at Bramcote Park. (Lacking toilets mind)

Now… I’ve not played rounders since school. I was always good with coordination. (My later slogging didn’t disappoint me… You never lose it! )

Upon my first catch attempt. I fell to the ground. Twisted (already killing knees from Friday’s stairs)  As the juggling balls, slogging, slipping, running, laughter ensued. How I laughed.. and laughed. We decided it was our Band Ep launch rounders match. Recorded on the 18/07/15 and released streaming on the 20th. (As was recorded live in 4 hours with a  few one take wonders with only vocals and a couple of its overdubs.) Not bragging or owt 😉  But that’s what accomplished musicians and bands should be able to do. If they work hard and practice at their instruments and music effectively. Not poncy cheating! What you hear recorded is what you hear live. That is what makes me so proud of the guys.

After a waz in the bushes after a group troffathon. Hysterics at dog walkers dogs not giving up attempting to raid our picnic. I had the Benny Hill Show theme tune going off in my head.  I was ready for game 2! I though I was going to boff up my salmon bagels. With a slice each homemade Gooseberry and a blackcurrant cake (Thanks Jenny) The Ron Burgundy Rounders commenced.So I cracked open the wine.

Then Ange wacked herself in the eye with the ball she was bowled. A little bit of pee came out of me! Injury 2! PP (Our vocalist) Then wacked the tennis ball into the ovaries of the bowler. The poor lass hit the floor and had to be lifted up. Commenting she never wanted children anyway. The slogger bloke of the match smacked his own elbow with the bat.  I hear the clunk from 3rd base. I felt it for him. I really did. Dave, our bass player did an awesome juggling catch then dropped it. Multiple defenders ran at each other nearing collision to all catch the same ball. Then dropped it. PP then slipped and twisted his ankle. I couldn’t take any more laughter. Catching the poor kid out! We were reminded by her (really funny) Mum how cruel it was! It was just a great day. More ‘tournaments to come’ We won!

I’m now on day 2 of pain, aches and moaning.  Worth it though. Being 40 is fun. Making the music I love with brilliant blokes.

Our EP ‘All Alone’ Is worth a listen. We are in the process of gathering a fan base, being new. Many Thanks.

– Claudine 

The brilliant Choices V’s Consequences Chores Chart.

So I got a little miffed about the amount of chores and housework I was doing on top of my full time job. Comparing this to the light of my lifes household input. The woman that I married and share my life with. I became disgruntled. Something had to be done. A retraining, re inventing, reiterating was needed. Having chortled about it at work. A plan was concocted. Some catalogues with useful pictures were donated.  We executed it the other evening. This in itself created a domestic!

So points are given and ticked off for such tasks as changing the cat litter, putting the bin out, recycling, hoovering, cooking, cleaning, washing up. Putting the laundry away, not just throwing it in a heap.  You tick it. These points add up to prizes such as massage, foot rub, zit squeeze for 10 minutes. A night where the other has to do all of the chores without grumble. This chart also contains the irritations and bad habits. Scoring bad points.  Farting in bed, making the other heave and cough, smoking at band rehearsals, not scrubbing stinky armpits before bed, being patronising, not leaving boiler cupboard door open… And so on, yes some of the irritating things. Are marked as bad. This chart is not designed to dictate our life. Its more an experiment. So I can, without argument show how much extra shit I have to do! Prove a point!

With every choice one makes, there is consequence. That can be good or bad!

So varying scores

Image from hitting 10 points plus. For good I get to choose my reward. For bad. Ange chooses my punishment. Or I choose hers. You get the drift.  I’ve chosen pampering as my rewards. Not that I don’t get plenty of it. Just nice to have even more after a hard day in the office. Ange, with her favourite foot rubs on tap, who is addicted tea. Has chosen it to be made for her for a week! Claudmaid!

Upon my suggestion of a bad consequence. (Knowing full well she loves tea) I said she must drink only water for a day.(hardship I know) Well… She went apeshit! Saying I’m punishing her and herbal tea should be included. I said no! Water is pure and monks drink it. The argument escalated to her trying to implement with immediate effect my crisp and chocolate ban consequence.(I see that asa good opportunity and motivation to lose pounds) I then suggested she only drink water for a month. She went more apeshit! Its truly really hit a nerve. I asked her to stand back and look at her ridiculous reaction. (While laughing)

She shouted she would never do what I told her. Drinking water for a month was ridiculous! (God knows what the neighbours thought, probably hearing the rant through the walls) I said I could see her, in her self imposed bitch fit, ripping our chart off the fridge. Achieving nothing. I mean the whole point is to share the housework equally. I had been doing nearly all of it. But had stopped doing most of the washing up. Leaving it for Ange. Just to prove a point.

So we are in our 3rd day. Ange is winning due a stroke of cleaning opportunity (I was out rehearsing with the band last night) She came home from work to carnage. We’d kept out cat, Rambo in for two nights as its been cold and wet. His protects was to bypass the litter tray. Shit on the landing, shit on the bottom of the stairs and piss on the sofa. Little git! So bar snow and another ice age. He can go out. He’s got fur! He sits on porch wall poking his head up to the front door glass faffing about. In and out, in and out! We don’t own this house so no cat flap. I’ve build one into the shed in the garden. Rambo is scared of it. Goes in but cant work out how to get out and wails! As she cleaned the litter tray. out other cat Pattie copped a squat on the newspaper. Both kitties had planned their assault on us together during the day.

So Ange point scored loads cleaning that lot up. I’m not concerned. It won’t take me long to catch up and reap the rewards.