A Last Day In Paradise

As the last full day here reality hits. We are going to miss the sunshine. But have the hot tub and kitty cats to go back to. With Ange’s new found love of American Football. We have experienced a lot. 

Watch Video>>>

Couldn’t do everything, but got a glimpse of life in LA. Tourism in Vegas and we got to go to The Castro in San Francisco. We don’t want to eat bacon for a while upon our return. The walking has done us good. The sun has definitely raised our vitamin D and happiness levels. Zuma Beach and Malibu has been both Mine and Ange’s favourite place. Vegas is Vegas. It’s a crazy place. Maybe we will come back to Vegas in 10 years. Who knows. Definitely Los Angeles and San Francisco. Won’t miss the cheesy feet smell each time we walk past the ‘posh shops’ at Caesar’s Palace, each time we come and go to our room. It nearly put me off Cheetos for life! 

21.10.17 (T-Minus 8 hours, Pacific time, plus tax and tips) Buffet Breakfast at Balleys. 
Flamingos at The Flamingo and Pelicans. 

A bit of a flutter. I’m no gambler, I’m a creative. I’ll stick to what I’m good at. 

Pool chillout afternoon and then a ‘last night’ family Italian Dinner at Maggiano’s (really good food!) and bed. 

Lovely time had on this adventure to San Francisco, Orange County, Los Angeles, Through the Mojave Desert, Las Vegas, Lake, Mead, The Hoover Dam on the Nevada / Arizona State Line. Great holiday and experience. Really relaxed. Vegas is a crazy place. Looking forward to a proper pot of tea and a fig roll. Get ready for the jet lag…. 

In the back of a Cab on the way back tonight. 


LA to Vegas

Driving 260 miles along Interstate 15. One canyon leads to another. The desert is not an attractive beast. We played count the bush. For the driest desert in North America. It’s no camping trip. A landscape without refrain.

After a quick stop off at Barlow for a corn dog and Wetzel’s Pretzels. 

There really is no mercy from the sun or shelter for those stranded in the Mojave Desert. It’s truly relentless. Of if my favourite songs: My track ‘Solstice’ by Earth Tree Healing accompanies my short video. 

Video #1

Then you can watch LA to Vegas Video #2 featuring us! Julie managed to get pop down her tits. 

The quickening desert mirrors itself. With my head lolling about as consciousness began to leave me. We arrived in Vegas. Dropped off the Dodge and Taxied to the strip. Meeting the wonderful Sancia. She filled us in on some essentials. Laughter at the talk of Tramps, a little lost in accents. They turned to ‘Trumps’ which was funnier. 

We passed Mandalay Bay. Where the recent massacre occurred. #vegasStrong 

Upon arrival. We dragged our road weary assets to at our room. Which is possibly bigger than our house and garden. The bed is so comfortable! Then my excited and silently determined Brother, escorted us all on a long walk… well getting anywhere even in Caesars Palace is a marathon. 

Next to Guy Fieri’s for beer, Trash Can Nachos, a Motley Que Sandwich! Wow! 

We all had a little flutter in the casino. Ange came out $100 in profit. So that payed for dinner! 

Day 5 Hello LA

12.10.17 Today we waved goodbye to San Francisco 

…for now and flew through smokey skies to Los Angeles. 

Video here

With my Brother turning into Sweary Mary every time I recorded a video clip. (I’m clearly Angelic and never utter such words) 

Whilst choosing the Dodge rental from the row. Ange ad my Bto clearly did not see the bloke sat in his choice. Ignoring the warning from us. They both proceeded to open the boot and door. He hastily drove off while we pissed. 

Checking into Knott’s Berry Farm Hotel. It feels like a proper holiday hotel. We stuffed our faces with burgers and some Mahosive pizza. Dropped the kids off st the pool. Then headed out to Long Beach. I was grateful to be sat in the front. As poor Ange and Adele bore the brunt of the air con blow back brother fart. 

Heading off to Long Beach for a paddle and Ice Cream. I got foot pecked by a pigeon. Then Alfred Hitchcock and the cast of birds from ‘The Birds’ descended for some waffle cone! 

After doing their Mitch Buchannon impressions. ( I had chortled at the new Baywatch on the plane from the UK)

We then drove off to look at The Wueen Mary Ship Hotel 

With the Englishman in LA, I’m sure my Bro after this one trip now has at least 2 parking tickets and a ‘Running the stop sign fine’ heading his way :-0 

Going supermarket shopping for snacks on the way home. Resulted in more Cheetos (omg I love them) for me and the only shite English tea bags we could find for Ange’s addiction to tea. She has been in withdrawal for days now. Is almost not herself. Any longer and she will break! Watching her try to salvage a simple cup using a coffee percolater was desperate. I must now intervene and search google maps to find a proper tea place! 

Never mind what happens. You can’t beat a good squirt! 

Could Diet Squirt be the new box ticker?

With Adele, my Sister-in-Law almost having  an Memory Lane laughing fit Tena Lady binge pop pants asthma attack. As we drove past a 7-11. (my bro years ago had been too busy looking at his phone, not seeing the bright yellow raised curb before the glass entrance doors. Proceeded to trip and go flying into and through them with such s bang. Everyone turned, went quiet and asked him if he was ok. He tried to act casual. Adele was nearly hospitalised due to not being able to catch her breath and near asthma attack, due to laughing so much. Even though I was not there, I can fully visualise this and the noise, also due to the memories of accidents my ‘accident prone’ Bro had when we were kids.  

An evening poo and then dip in the jacuzzi followed by lager, chilli cheese dip with hit pretzels. Set are arses up for Univeral Studios tomorrow! 

I really, really like Los Angeles. 

Claudsville Blogs and Biog of a Bog Woppit

My name is Claudine West. These are excepts of this present life as me. 2016 was rather fabulous making music, writing, recording, gigging, doing the full time day job. Looking after wife and cats, mowing the lawn, breathing in the sea. Exploring Devon, Dorset and Somerset. Writing recording and releasing more meditation music under ‘Earth Tree Healing’…. Being happy. 


These are my blogs and here is the Kindle book.



Rounders At 40!

I’m sat here aching. I’m struggling and ‘wusslike’ after such fun on a sunny Sunday afternoon. A rather brilliant weekend I might add. It began on a tired friday afternoon. The nature of my day job, means lots of walking around hospitals sorting problems out and trying to avoid problems. Friday afternoons is mostly, a ‘catch up on emails and finish off the week.’ Not this one. So feeling tired and aching like a bitches anal gland.  After helping sort another crisis. Home at last! Then, off out to band rehearsals. Due to a broken computer at our usual studio. Ange had to book a last minute one elsewhere. Arriving in the car. I noted how sunburnt Dave, our bass player looked. I commented. Only then to realise. It was the 4 flights of stairs he has lugged equipment up, that actually caused the rouge rupture look. So with already aching legs I ascended with my cymbals. (Swearing profusely and trying not to be rude and seem ungrateful at the no lift situation!)  In a very small room hot and sweltering like a greenhouse without glass. I felt like a borrower in a dolls house attic. About to have a claustrophobic panic attack. (that what its all about though.. it’s fun, really it is! ) Talk of new songs called bearded clams, razor face, big bag of weed.  Blinded by one’s own sweat. The horrific trickle down ones back that ends slithering into one’s bum crack. That night’s smell of ‘off’ biscuits will haunt me forever I thought it was my trainers…!!. Thank goodness for showers and washing machines! Have as remarked before its never wise to sniff a drummers drum stool after a gig? #advice there for you ;-0   It was nice getting a round of applause after performing ‘Weevil K’inevil’ from studio staff and appreciative visitors/other band. Then offered a possible gig too. Brucie Bonus! Now we are not a band that sings our own praises and promotes how fooking wonderful and amazing we all are. Thats for delusional, up their own arse cock nuggets. Which tend to hear something different that what a talented ear can hear. Anyway… I slept like a damp log in the dark Friday night.

Saturday AM arrived. Truly excited. We headed off to pick up PP our Subway Circus vocalist and tootled off to Abbey Lane studios in Derby. Even though we are Nottingham based. Fate, cancellations, offers, thoughts and finds and gut instincts  lead us there.  We weren’t disappointed. With the faint sound of troffing cobs and crisps in my headphones before live takes. I chuckled at my past rock and roll lifestyle choices. Musing my non hangover the next day. You can read the full blog and see some pics/ videos here BLOG- SUBWAY CIRCUS ABBEY ROAD

What a brilliant day! We got offered a gig there too!  Then.. a rush back to Nottingham.  A friend’s birthday dinner (great Tapas) and a few drinkies. Eventually we got home. Exhausted but very contented and happy.

Sunday AM It started with rain. But then the sun came again. A band and friends gathering at Bramcote Park. (Lacking toilets mind)

Now… I’ve not played rounders since school. I was always good with coordination. (My later slogging didn’t disappoint me… You never lose it! )

Upon my first catch attempt. I fell to the ground. Twisted (already killing knees from Friday’s stairs)  As the juggling balls, slogging, slipping, running, laughter ensued. How I laughed.. and laughed. We decided it was our Band Ep launch rounders match. Recorded on the 18/07/15 and released streaming on the 20th. (As was recorded live in 4 hours with a  few one take wonders with only vocals and a couple of its overdubs.) Not bragging or owt 😉  But that’s what accomplished musicians and bands should be able to do. If they work hard and practice at their instruments and music effectively. Not poncy cheating! What you hear recorded is what you hear live. That is what makes me so proud of the guys.

After a waz in the bushes after a group troffathon. Hysterics at dog walkers dogs not giving up attempting to raid our picnic. I had the Benny Hill Show theme tune going off in my head.  I was ready for game 2! I though I was going to boff up my salmon bagels. With a slice each homemade Gooseberry and a blackcurrant cake (Thanks Jenny) The Ron Burgundy Rounders commenced.So I cracked open the wine.

Then Ange wacked herself in the eye with the ball she was bowled. A little bit of pee came out of me! Injury 2! PP (Our vocalist) Then wacked the tennis ball into the ovaries of the bowler. The poor lass hit the floor and had to be lifted up. Commenting she never wanted children anyway. The slogger bloke of the match smacked his own elbow with the bat.  I hear the clunk from 3rd base. I felt it for him. I really did. Dave, our bass player did an awesome juggling catch then dropped it. Multiple defenders ran at each other nearing collision to all catch the same ball. Then dropped it. PP then slipped and twisted his ankle. I couldn’t take any more laughter. Catching the poor kid out! We were reminded by her (really funny) Mum how cruel it was! It was just a great day. More ‘tournaments to come’ We won!

I’m now on day 2 of pain, aches and moaning.  Worth it though. Being 40 is fun. Making the music I love with brilliant blokes.

Our EP ‘All Alone’ Is worth a listen. We are in the process of gathering a fan base, being new. Many Thanks.

– Claudine 

Don’t be my Valentine

During my single times. I was a lost and lonely pickle, a bit of a broken and insecure woppit. Limping from one mess to another. Valentines day only served to remind me of the fact no-one loved me. While friends and relatives made a point of it.   You know, the day when (mainly) the women you work with ‘surprisingly and very publicly’ receive flowers. Then act surprised.  Well.. shit would hit the fan if the other half forgot!  My years in retail saw many panicked blokes last minute shopping for said flowers and chocolate. Only to be many times questioned by wife as to how fat they looked. Then lying…. Today after over 5 years committed to my soul mate. We don’t celebrate Valentines Day. Love is every day!

This marketing frenzy occurs but once a year. New Kidlets conceived, as sex, cuddles and sensuality is allowed for one night only, except birthdays and Xmas, or when drunk. How many suffer loveless marriages and relationships craving it? Pretending and presenting is good huh?   I can only comment on being lucky at last.  A woman loving a woman. We don’t have kids and don’t want kids. We are entitled to live a life and actually are fulfilled without them. Contrary to what some would believe. The peacock ruffles its feathers and shows off the pretence of love. Momentarily happy, during a lifetime of discontent. What once was fresh and new, became a chore. To some became a waking nightmare.  It takes effort, conviction and true belief to ensure true happiness in life. Blaming others for your misery really is your choice. Convenience is easy. Material goods won’t give you the memories you truly realize too late on your deathbed.

You see true love doesn’t need to celebrate itself on set days. True love is special moments always. Without money being thrown at it. Love to me doesn’t cost money. Love is given without consequence to the love of life. Our whispers and private conversations are not to be blogged and written about by me. An especially sweet everythings that were spoken last night. Those moments travel like comets into the universe for all time. Sex, affection, connection is amazing when its meant to be. From someone who never thought anyone would love me. It all worked out fine. For that I am grateful every day.

True love is keeping the spark ignited. The passion embraced. True love is the shiver down your spine. The creeping up behind. The kiss that just gets better. The fart, the cough, the laughter. The petty arguments, the sharing of food over a romantic dinner (not on Valentines Day) The taking time to make an effort, to listen to each other, to respect each other, appreciating each other.  Sorting out problems before they destroy harmony. True love is knowing every day that your love lights you up. True love is the absolute unconditional fear that if your soul mate disappeared from your life. You would crumble to dust.

When that shining light surrounds your world together. Cherish it. Make every day special. Not just dictated one that ultimately is designed to make retailers and restaurants a shit load of money.

Then what does Ange go and do in my workplace?


≈ Clange


Time, Happiness, Moving,

After a time of change. A time of challenge. A degree of bombardment of unnecessary negativity. I’ve been insulted quite a lot recently. A ‘Narcissist!’ Which proves how little some know about what I think about my true reflection of myself and my talents. I’m not a big verbal blower or promoter of my own penny whistle. I dont need to. Neither do I hide behind masks. All of that saga has fortunately been sent back with kisses and love 3 fold. Rising above all of that I moved on.  Quite a bit of needed closure has happened. This life of rainbows has shown me some true colours, some brilliance, some darkness and lots of happiness.

 A wealth of opportunities have now surfaced. Especially musically which I’m stoked about.  I can’t believe how lucky I am at times. I count my blessings daily. Hard work pays off with abundance. 

The tide has turned. I feel happier and more content musically, emotionally and spiritually. Freedom is wondrous. Procrastination, indulgence and invigoration feels good. After contemplating for some time, I finally deactivated my Facebook account. I feel liberated! The silent spies and can only view here now. Of Course my book is not far from the publishing stage. Some chapters have had their endings changed recently. Life is about living. Writing my book has catalogued some of those experiences. Its also made me really think about what I really want. Seeing things in black and white has produced changes for the better for me.  I want a true life relationship with friends and folk in the flesh. Not on my iPhone screen. The realisation that we need to hang out with the like minded folk and not false flags has been reiterated. Our quality of life, happiness and wellbeing depends on it.

Some exist in the darkness. Some hide. We live in the light. Departing is never easy. But no regrets. The road is long and prosperous. The doors are now open now the weeds have been cleared. The sun shines through a metallic blue sky. With each new opportunity. We marvel at the greater good. We become more motivated with our driven success. The wise advice and support we encounter with our blessed friends is beautiful. It’s a great life we inhabit… and its just getting better and better. 🙂

~ Claudine 








So that time comes when we make a choice, the choice that will change one’s history and future. That choice that has been bothering me for ages. That choice that was forced when things all of a sudden changed into something that didn’t feel so good.

On a beach. One can choose to stay in the sand and shade. Or enter the sea and float in the sunshine, wherever it takes me.


I think when one is pummelled with stress after stress and challenge after challenge. The belief in good sinks under the ocean. Body and mind tired.  Tolerance of others fades. Being surrounded by lots of people in crisis is incredibly draining. One revaluates what is truly important. My sanity, my health, my relationship, my family. The other things.  Am I getting the pleasure from doing some of those things anymore? Or have things changed for the worse? Do I have the energy to keep producing the good stuff when others can’t?  When did all of a sudden I become nothingness? When did the thing that I created become a thing that less qualified others controlled?

I have immense problems with people who think they are superior and better than me. That’s not my insecurity. It just damn rude! Yes how very dare you. Some undervalue or are simply unaware of my talents, works and achievements. I find it disrespectful and insulting.  Experience and respect is gained over many years of working at ones fortes.  That’s doesn’t also mean that’s an excuse to power trip and treat others as inferior.  Qualifications are great. I’ve met many with qualifications that aren’t worth toilet paper. How and why they got them as I see no evidence of behaviours, knowledge or anything leaned is baffling. Is a wise man that has survived many winters on a mountain qualified to help you survive?  Or the kid that thinks they know it all?  Then there is that teamwork thing, that diplomacy.  Teams contain leaders. Leaders that focus on a result ultimately have the final word, even if some don’t like that decision. We all sometimes don’t get our own way.  As one climbs the ranks, one leans a lot and passes down side ways and upwards wisdom.

You see that very wise mountain man survived so long because the villagers fed him. He’d once helped out woodworking. He was a very popular, charming and well liked man. He didn’t feed himself; others did as a kind of exchange for his work. After time he became unmotivated, life must be easier than this. He slowed down. Taking twice as long with his work.  Eventually he stopped making things, just relied on others charity.  He became lazy. This caused discontentment. Eventually the villagers took a vote. They stopped giving him their charity and he stood alone. He became weak. He fell to his knees.  They felt oh so guilty. Those same people rescued him and fed him again. He rested on his laurels.  “Ah those idiots,” he thought. He’d sit on his porch, feet up laughing to himself. He’d succeeded on fooling them feeling sorry for him. They were bad people if they stopped feeding him. They were all so stupid! That’s where he got it wrong.  Eventually someone got pissed off and shot him dead and burned is house down. Then spat, shit and pissed on his pancakes and walked away. Life and productivity in the village bloomed. People had the time and energy now they weren’t climbing that mountain every day. People went from being disgruntled and guilty to being contented. That man was soon forgotten about, as he never made his mark. It was always take, take, take. He’d played on his age.  Used the sympathy vote. That man was more capable than most, He just could not be arsed. People see saw through him. Not all, but some.  Some are very good at spouting believable bullshit.

There are people in this world that have a dictionary of excuses for themselves, that never take responsibility. Time runs out eventually.  Things always catch up.

There is a big difference between supporting and carrying people. There is a difference between the reputation and their perceived reputation.  We make an effort in this life, or we ride on the waves of others efforts. Some have no choice; life has been harsh in body, mind and experiences. Some are just too damaged.  Some focus and manifest ill heath as earning a crust is far too frightening and takes an effort. Some believe the world owes them something. The world owes you nothing. Some do the bare minimum, while others work their arses off for the same reward. Infuriating isn’t it!

So I retreat into my own healing. I surround myself with meditations and positive energies. Good people.  Sometimes the best thing to do is to walk away.  The ones that interfere, read between the lines, defend the undependable, scream the loudest. Confess responsibility of wrongdoing by outburst alone.

Implementing of change is challenging, It upsets people. I’ve done it. They fear it. They call you names, they try to harm you, they try to pressure you to stop, and they take the piss out of you. They rant about how absolutely great and right they are.  You may not get invites to their parties. But it’s not about popularity. It’s about what one wants to achieve with a project. It’s about fairness for all.  To evolve and progress. We must change.  To be open-minded is liberating. To keep banging out the same frustrations, stagnates a creative soul.  In the moments of true clarity. One asks oneself?  What do I need out of all of this? It’s not all about you. You may think it is. It is not.

Youth brings much arrogance. Age brings much stubbornness. The middle is when you find your true self. Do you listen to the masses that have decided you are wrong?  The masses that have a dictionary of excuses. The moment they are challenged. They attempt turn it around, like you are the bad person.  Or do you follow your instinct knowing that they really are. Time will prove you right. Some big corporations are rotten to the core.  Once they get away with stuff the first time, they continue and screw people over more. Eventually someone has enough. Some take a shotgun. Some take a grievance. Some expose the wrong ‘uns. Some just leave as there is no hope.

I will always stand my ground and up for myself as the world is full of losers wanting a free ride and to fuck you over on that journey. I sadly see happening more and more.  To agree to disagree is different from not listening to full potential. Closing doors on new ideas shuts you in a box.  A masterpiece can be scribbled in chalk. It is not necessary a polished diamond.  Getting problems discussed and resolved is far better than letting disillusionment built up. When things blow people go….

 I stand at the crossroads and.  

Fifty Shades of FCUK UP

We often help friends in crisis. Thats part of what Earth Tree Healing is.  It’s what we do as humans and good folk do.   Our doors is open and sofa free. I am not Yoda, nor am I the wise woman yet that I will become one day. I’m still learning. Mistakes and successes are worn on sleeves, written in the scriptures.

It would be unfair to dictate how to live your life. I’m neither setting up a religion, spreading the word that oh yes.. They are real! That was true and the government really did it! I have a new found respect for Nigella Lawson having been ‘Naughty’ like so many, who only admit it, attempt to justify when caught.  Many who willingly take drugs to have a good time, escape will only ‘publically regret it’ When they are exposed by the media. We are all responsible for our own bodies. Some abuse them, some get ill, having lived healthy lives. Some people drink, smoke, have fry ups and live very long lives. Some live the most healthy lives and die young. Who knows when your biological clock will go into self destruct. Live, love today. Tomorrow is in the future.  Who am I to tell others they are behaving like utters arseholes and should jog on and seek professional therapy to sort their shit out. Please note. There are various therapies available to folk. The first or only one prescribed my help or may not. Its kind of like.. You need beans, you like beans but you need to try other brands before you find the best tastiest one for you. A lot think they are cured, stop medicating and getting therapy. Then that crash and decline is devastating. I think if you can step outside yourself for a moment. If you start to display harmful tendencies.   Munchausen by proxy, controlling, dictating, aggression, depression, manipulation. Violence. Silent suffering. Oh bullying and lying is really bad too btw!  Its a clear sign you have something wrong with you. You are sat here thinking thats so obvious! Well I assure you, some are in complete denial. They paint a very different picture publicly. People believe them too as don’t see their darkness. Cant believe they would do such awful things. You would be naive to not think at some point you have encountered, walked past, or lived near, lived with someone disturbed and dangerous .

Please read the following too   http://www.crimemuseum.org/blog/9-early-warning-signs-for-serial-killers-2/

I’m not perfect.  I work in the NHS. I see suffering, upset and poorly people every day. That reality check, makes one realise a lot about this life we live.

As Ray Lamontagne says “Trouble, trouble, trouble”

The endless drama that goes on behind closed doors with people is astounding. I’ve sat down pondering after recent events, astounded. One could fictionalise goings on and call it “50 shade of fucking up”. There are some wrong ‘uns about. I should not anger. But frankly it does make me angry and I feel the need to bitch slap individual into next week. Take away their rice pudding and make them sit on the naughty step and think about what they have done. What they have done to themselves and others! They have preyed on the kind, innocent souls and drag them downwards into their own hell. Selfish and unfair behaviours. Jeremy Kyle, Oprah, Trisha and Judge Judy would get very angry and shout! Some people think they have done something wrong to deserve the shit they are having thrown at them. That they are being punished.  Instead of spending mass energy analyzing and continuing in the control drama. Get help, get out, get sorted and settled. Burying head in sand, making excuses, giving up is easy. The hard part is standing up and escaping a bad situation. Easier said than done you say? Is it? Is it really?  Then think about why, why it happens over again and keeps happening? The same shit keeps happening with different people, or the same person because nothing has changed.  What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Sometimes they kill you or themselves first. Blaming you in the process. Bear that in mind. Taking aside mental illness.  You are responsible for your choices. If you choose to remain in an abusive relationship. It’s your choice. If you choose to commit suicide, it’s your choice. Maybe some cannot ever be helped. As they chose never to try to help themselves. Maybe somes internal wiring is so very wrong. Nothing can be done. Incarceration for life.  Did the warning signs present early and no action taken? Don’t attempt to blame others. The horrors of life can do serious damage. But some of you good people can deal with it. There are ways, there’s reprogramming of the mind, thoughts and outlook. There is so much help, a Doctors referral is just one step, medication is another. But there is so much more out there. The mountain is high. Its a struggle, giving up is easy. Imagine the satisfaction, the fresh air and the beauty, the sense of achievement you will get when you reach the top. You look down to see beautiful lagoons and valleys, a chip shop, a home fondue kit, a wine cellar, an orchard or the tastiest juiciest fruit. You look down to see your soul mate and smile.  

I am fortunate. I live a fairly normal life. I enjoy my domestic bliss. After so many years unresolved, uncommitted, messed up with a joint in one hand and a drink in the other. Wondering what it was all about. Wondering if my Demons would finish me off. They didn’t. My Angels saved me. Those Angels know who they are.

I don’t paint a picture of me, or my life that is not true and real. I do not pretend to be anyone else than who I am. I don’t hit my wife, manipulate her. I do tell her to shut up. As she tells me to shut up.  I do moan and have a strop about her messy tendencies. But on the grand scale. This is minor and PMT is a curse.  We also laugh and piss about. Love deeply each other. Do all the ‘couply’ things. I know its not trendy in some circles but I don’t do dogging, car keys in the fish bowl, Back Gammon, watch soaps, play candy crush, shop at Farmfoods, think a meal at Mcdonalds is a gourmet treat with the kids. We don’t have kids! Oh yeah, we don’t have kids. It’s a lovely honour that many of our friends suggest we adopt. Our answer. “NO!”

We don’t want them, are aware of the many useless monsters that have bred for benefits, spreading std’s in the process or just through not using a rubber Johnny!  But those poor children you shout! They cant help it! BOOO!!

I don’t remember  becoming the United Nations, Social Services, Gouvernement, Church, all Charities, seeking the Nobel Prize or M.B.E. last time I checked. I do my bit. I do not set unachievable goals. I have hopes, dreams. I wish this world and its people would sort their shit out. From one small acorn grows a big Oak Tree. Then its branches reach out. If we help one person get happy. That person may then help others. You see?

We bought a new set of cutlery and a pasta maker yesterday. Ange made homemade pasta. Domestic bliss. Building our life and home together. I farted, We giggled. Well she coughed, I wet my pants. The little things.

NOT 'Sleeping with the enemy

NOT ‘Sleeping with the enemy

In The Eye Of The Storm

We’ve found ourselves recently in the eye of a storm. We continue to work on our calm, happiness and bliss. A perfect circle. Cycles of laughter, pmt, laughter, pmt…;-0

But our bubble of joy is surrounded by pricks and others, who continue to attract and follow the same destructive patterns in their lives. If you burst my zit over the holidays, I’ll not be a happy bunny and will fang you up! Attracting bad situations that manifest from a whim, or a desperate reach out at what they believe  to be ‘happiness.’ Oh yes it seemed like a good idea at the time to throw fancy at the wind. But the wind became a tornado spinning the same carnage, a whirling dervish of pain and upset. Broken lives, emotions lay scattered in its wake. Some will try to drag others down once that self destruct choice is made. It is a choice. Because the choice of asking for help when the alarm bells start ringing is there. Once the demons invited, it’s harder to get it caged and sent packing. Some people are plain nasty. Please stop being nasty. Your Karma will be horrific.  At what point do those voices in your head or urges become so frighteningly dangerous. The concept of reality and normality is lost? Right and wrong no longer exists to them.  I’m a strong believer in having people ‘sectioned’ for the safety of themselves and others before that final line is crossed.

Now I’m no preacher. But have seen a lot of this lately. Some drink to excess. Some drink every day. Some use it as a form of relaxation. Some use it as escape. Some love it and have great times a long way from tipsy. Some are just addicted.  I like a good drink. But no longer use it as an anaesthetic for my troubles, or courage for my fun. I’ve seen what it does when it gets out of control. It destroys people.  I used to think. I’ll never even last a night without a bottle of wine. I did and now can give or take it. Being skint made that choice for me initially and helped be stop a destructive routine. The red rain of rouge occasionally makes the next day a doom, boff and gloom day. But I’ll do it again and again.  

There is a lot of ‘poor me’ going on and very little counting of blessings. Let me assure you, again. There is always someone far worse off than you. That person has also made peace with the awfulness they have experienced and has found contentment, even in their final moments on this earth. Of Course we get some that just can’t handle life and what lessons it gives you. Never learning and breaking habits and cycles. Unhappiness can be written down on a piece of paper, verbally dictated, sign language. Various methods can be utilized. So I ask you. Why is your life such a mess. You blame whom? I ask what have you done to get out of that mess? Have you attracted more of the same to yourself? Are you Groundhog day in the flesh? How many spirits think oooh I’m so glad I killed myself. Pat on the back.. My life could have been…..Had I had made a different choice and mindset. You have the freedom to choose. Live, be happy for the small time you have here. Or let the darkness continue. Sunrise is beautiful. A fresh breeze fills one with vitality. Beyond the gate lies your happiness. Of course If you are already happy, beyond is this moment.  If you’ve mastered mindfulness, well done you! So shake up your buttercups. Start living in the light. With a bit of practice and perseverance, You will want to water the daisies not push ’em up. Image