Silent Screams and Ego Effigies

As social media is so often used to vent not repent. With screaming ego dramas becomings effigies. Sculptures of madness in a darkness that is a new reckoning. Self pity and self worthlessness. The self centered, selfish me, me, me! Culture only subsides to the ‘like’ button or retweets. A quick fix of not actually making a point when existing in the virtual world.  Rant after rant has been unsubscribed as got very boring a long time ago. You control your destiny. Blaming others for failures.. or what I call ‘lessons’ and fate just becomes a vicious life cycle of negativity, that no one wants to wake up to or finish their day with. The relevance of this? If I meet people like you. I may nod my head to acknowledge my pretend listening to your murmurs – As thats what I hear them as. Thats about all. Others don’t appear on my newsfeed which is viewed occasionally while on the crapper.

I woke at 5am. With the morning wheat grass shot. I put on a meditation music playlist, I’ve compiled on Spotify HERE  Veggie Chilli in the slow cooker, eyes streaming after chopping some potent organic onions. With the addition of my special ingredients. Dinner will be lovely while watching the rugby with Ange shouting “Come on!” With some beers later.

In other news…With the toss of a coin. A decision was made. Application accepted which ultimately will decide ‘Should I stay or should I go? Do what everything is screaming at me to do!’ No regrets. Just a lot of hassle, stress and thankless efforts at the moment in the ‘normal life.’ The next month will be change of the uttermost goodness either way. A win, win. So with those ego Effigies left in the distance and not penetrating my inner sanctuary. Its all looking rather groovy. C U next Tuesday’sDSCN0317 I’m now gonna plug in and play with a flanger. I have good work to create.

Have a break, have a reevaluation.

So we sat by the sea. Discussing future projects, careers, destiny. Once away from the hustle and bustle of the daily grind. It’s easier to look upon everything when away from it. It’s the change in air and of water. Maybe it’s having a break from the ever increasing needy and negative people of the population who continue to fail to sort their own shit out. Even though the answers are right in front of them. We can all be guilty of this though. Some of us choose to progress in this life. Not fall and fail time and time again, repeating destructive patterns. Making the same mistakes with different people (that are the same kind)
Ange and I never advertised ourselves as ‘wet wipes!’ we can’t clear up others shit. We won’t either. There is a big difference from helping folk with the gifts that we’ve been given and trained in. Than being the ones that you go to when only after a poopy party went pear shaped. The lesson ‘over and over’ again is that only YOU can help yourself. Pills, thrills and chills are temporary highs and disguises of true self. The come downs..well.
Others will show you the way sometimes. Or help balance you to open things up with clarity. We relight the tinders. You grow your flames let your Phoenix rise.
There is lack of taking responsibility nowadays. The ‘poor me’ and ‘blame game’ is the broken record of petty excuses.
Ange and I get “diet, diet, diet!” mentioned constantly. You know what? Unless you stick to that. For all eternity it will yoyo. Ive read lots. The most painful bit easy thing I’ll ever do? Is not swallowing it in the first place. It’s lifestyle change that maintains it.
Of course If these things were easy and willpower was. Everyone would not be resorting to pills, fads and suffering only to fall off the wagon. The westernized world of greed and fast unhealthy food. The programming of us all is working very well for the masses. It’s the switched on and unplugged ones that have true awareness of what’s really going on with the extent of control.
A week on vegetables makes one feel loads better after cutting out the takeaways, crisps, booze, and chocolate. (After the addiction comedown of course) cigarettes, drugs and other stuff..well…that’s another detox challenge with the correct support.

As we retreat into a time of doing stuff we want to do. Our time of adventuring into bliss. I leave you with this. “The world is big enough for all to shine in, bathe in its wonder, do not judge or harm others, as we are all equal beings, some just haven’t asked or ignored the answers shown. If you’ve bit truly realized your own blessings. You are stagnant. Start asking and looking with your heart and mind awake. Be grateful and stop wining. Enjoy every moment and love unconditionally, feel the life force within and surrounding, taste the rapture, listen to the waves of silence, view the beauty of moments”


The Horror Of Negative People

The true horror of Negative People and their influence.

Nowadays I pity negative, miserable people. I used to hate them, really hate them. I’d get really upset and angry ( I’m human, I’m still learning, finding my way to stop the affects of them) Hate is an emotion I no longer try to feel. As it doesn’t make me feel better. Sending my hate out into the Universe only increases my suffering. How awful must your life be, if you have to behave in such a terrible way towards others. I’m glad I am me. I’m lucky, I have great mentors and support. I listen and take action now. 
I’ve learnt the hard way. Frustration, upset, attacks. Psychic Vampirism. (ever been around people and feel really drained?) You just can’t help everyone. Sometimes with the best intentions. You get ‘made out’ to be the enemy. Some people never accept new additions to a group or change. Alienation does not feel nice. It happens. It doesn’t really fall under the bullying umbrella. As the “You can’t get on with everyone, so just be pleasant” (eg keep your gob shut, head down and do not dare have an different opinion! Keep the peace) speech occurs. Fear, resentment, mistrust, previous damage to themselves. All contribute to a nasty experience. I’ve been the brunt. I also know how and why good teamwork… Works. Poor management can ruin productivity, equilibrium. So can poor employees. The best managers I have worked with had a sense of humor, were kind souls, knew their job inside out. Got their hands dirty, communicated and most importantly, kicked ass in a proper manner when it was needed! Staff with bad behaviors who are allowed to continue. Cause much upset. I know, I used to be like that in my younger years. A righteous pain in the vag!
Positive influence, good organization, proper training, clear goals, support gains trust and loyalty. After maturing a little, in my 30’s. I managed teams of people for a while. (I’d worked incredibly hard to get offered the opportunity) I learnt a lot. I hope I’m remembered by most as one of the good ones. There are always the people you just can never, ever get on with. I will never profess to be perfect. But I do learn from my mistakes, admitting and apologising when in the wrong.   Personality clashes occur. Sometimes you just have to agree to disagree. Stitch ups happen when slimy people try to further their career and brown tongue. (poor you, if that’s what you have to do to get on)
I was always fair but firm. Sticking up for my staff. I did love a good giggle and practical joke. I worked in Retail for 18 years. The back stabbing and lies by certain managers was bad enough.

Now the general public, that’s another kettle of bad fish. Very bad fish.

For some reason. Certain individuals eg “Customers” and their terrible ego and bad attitudes, truly believe shop workers are scum of the Earth. I could write a book about the threats, incidents, physical violence and vileness. Oh and the hysterical and strange occurrences. The Sunday morning skid marked pants after a night on the ale, eye watering body odour, domestics, rows over a cashiers “dirty look”, moaning that they couldn’t report someone to customer service as they were “Too Nice”. People trying to buy vodka with their benefits food vouchers. ( I just love paying my taxes to these sorts, I’ve worked and contributed since I was 16 years old) Then kicking off! Oh and just when you think a cashier doesn’t know you’ve been eating the loose grapes on the way round… That secret extra pressure applied to the scale when you are not looking settles things ;-0

If ‘Shopping’ and ‘Queuing’  truly ignites your rage. TRY: Internet shopping! It may be the solution, or anger management? Or getting a life? Being barred helped us poor staff!

If I had £1 for every time we got “I pay your Wages!!!”

Well actually you dont. If you never shopped there, the company would not go bankrupt and I would still get paid. And if I was evil and pitiful like you, I’d have loved to walk into your ‘amazing job’ that makes you a supreme being better than everybody else and entitles you to be a rude twat! Then I’d lay into you, belittle you, threaten you, moan about petty things like it was the end of the world and see how you liked it!! Day in day out!

It all got too much for me. ( I job hunted, got rejections, failed interviews for a year. But you know what? I persevered. I knew if I tried and tried. I’d eventually escape. I got a new job. I resigned, walked away from the horrors of retail for good. I will simply not settle for working with negative folk or being exposed if I can help it. Yes I do have control of that choice ) The public helped me hate myself, the name calling ( I’ve been called every obscenity under the sun ) my confidence and health hit rock bottom by the end. I was on the wrong path in life. The Powers That Be we’re showing me lessons. Eventually later on I acknowledged. I meet far less awful people nowadays. But I’m still working on my reaction to them.
I have much respect for people who work with the public. It’s a hard job. Can be soul destroying. It also can be very rewarding when you make a difference. Get a smile, a thank you. 

Society is becoming more unbalanced. Violence, greed, religion, social breakdown, lack of deterrent of consequence for crime, which is on the increase, unemployment, generation after generation void of hope, education. The trouble with guns?  ‘Protection, deterrent’ if your world is so unsafe, until the wrong person uses them for mass slaughter. Guns don’t destroy lives, people who use them do. Everyone likes to blame Governments, Banks. People rarely look at their own behavior. People want want want. NOW! I’m no economy expert. I try to avoid the news. It’s depressing. Now moaning, whinging..Maybe it’s the British? (I’m from England btw) Maybe when you get older you moan more? Maybe people interfere and judge everyone else, instead of getting on with their own lives. ENJOYING THEM..MMmmmm.
Bad news sells. No one wants to hear about good news… Apparently. All very doom and gloomy isn’t it?

That’s until you remove yourself from those situations. Once you break free of being programmed.
Take a walk in the wild. Observe the beauty of everything around you, be grateful of what you have. There is always someone worse off than yourself, suffering, dying. Im sorry, everyone’s body dies. Cruelly before their time. Or was it “their time?” But.. Don’t worry. The afterlife is real. You’ll see. 😉 Thats MY opinion, knowledge, belief, experience. You, I’m sure will make up your own mind. The body is a vessel. The spirit, soul, your essence, energy exists. Your true self.. Not the mind (The Ego)
If you do feel someone is sucking the life force out of you. Shields up. Cut the cord. Sometimes making them aware stops it. A lot of the time. They are unaware they are doing it.
You get the people whose continued control dramas, “poor me” cause upset and misery. Does physical illness manifest itself if a person is unbalanced, stressed? Are we all just genetically programmed. The power of what you consume? The power of the mind. The power of belief. The damage of regret, jealousy, anger, upset , abuse.
The healing of happiness, Healthy eating, contentment, love, laughter.

A greasy Kebab after a belly full of beer has been bliss in the past. Not nowadays. Green leafy things make me feel good, clear and give me energy. I’ve never drank coffee. I cant bear the taste of the stuff.( I’ve really tried to like it, it makes me retch) The most we drink at a ‘coffee shop’ is a Hot Chocolate of a nice brew of Assam tea.

I  choose not to hang around negative people socially. What is the point of having your day ruined and made to feel depressed?

I treat troubled souls and help rebalance them on a professional level Practicing Reiki. It’s great helping people who want to make positive changes, seeing results. Learning from my experiences, working with the energies, practicing my training. Committing myself to something good that not only helps me, helps others. I can’t save and help everyone. People have to want to help themselves. Open themselves to Unconditional Love. But every little bit of positive thinking and activity gets sent out. Negativity only attracts negativity.

Sometimes in life/work its really hard to escape negativity . Life is too short in this world for me personally to tolerate being surrounded by it. It makes me ill, physically. Yes i get physical manifestations.  I choose not to. I try not to let people affect me. But sometimes when you are surrounded by it, it affects me terribly. Causes stress. Stress = very, very BAD. I will leave/escape a bad environment once all else fails. Its really not worth staying for the bad vibes.

When I’m around positivity, laughter, fun, love, creativity. I’m in my own little Heaven. It feels so good, inspiring, healthy.
I’d love to go build a log cabin in the middle of nowhere, with a small community of fellow light workers. Live off the land. Help others. Run a retreat for those in need. Battered wives, animals, lost souls. Basically those who need help. Well, that’s the plan. We are working to achieve that goal.
I love hugging trees. I love fresh air, the freedom of nature, the sea, a forest, fields in bloom, music, art, meditation, blue skies. I love our cats, my friends, family and wife. I want for nothing as I’m owed nothing, my life is abundant. I’m not materialistic. When I sit back and truly think about it. Life is rather good.