Works 2014 Claudine West #claudsville

2014 has been a rather productive year. Eventful, traumatic, stressful circumstances,  inspirational gatherings. Synchronicity. Doors have closed, portals have opened.  Its shown me true colours of people, shallowness and selfishness. Wave surfers. Who will continue to achieve nothingness and take all the credit for it too. Enjoy that! Its allowed me to relax with my kind of people. Meet new kind and wonderful souls. My key word is #likeminded  It’s shown me that a lot of folk need encouragement and help. Its also shown me that I don’t require the bad ones in my life or proximity.  What’s been laid to rest is inactivity. I’ve always been driven to create and unleash what becomes. Making the most of time on this planet has been satisfying to say the least. Who know how much longer I have left. I hope its many years. There, through the course of things has had to be changes made. To better my well being in body, minds and spirit. Lots more of continued effort in 2015.

So here is a list and links of this year. It wasn’t easy. Yes I turned the TV off. Did not party hard and lay wrecked and dormant every weekend. I worked and produced a body of work I’m proud of. Its not stagnant, what some perceive to be ‘perfect.’ What it is a very alive embodiment of me, what I am and what I do. Having words channel through oneself is a thrilling and hypnotic experience. I’ve found a great joy in writing. 2015 will produce a new book of fiction under a pen name.  Thanks to friends for planting a great idea for it. It evolves each time I sit in our healing room. I’ve got 2 new meditation/ collaboration  releases in the pipeline.  So part time day job is on the list! ;-0

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Enjoy, learn, listen.

Solo album: The Narcissist and the Inbetween.

I’ve a few personal favourites ‘Exceptional Believers’  ‘Exit of the Crush’ Writing and recording this has been rather fabulous therapy. #demons

Then there is of course my book. What can I say? Read it.

  Number 1 ebook bestseller : Claudsville Blogs and Biog of a Bog Woppit

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Then I began adventures in meditation music recording a 3 track Guided Meditation CD with an amazing tutor and insightful soul, Sally Wathen at Rainbow Bridge  I can only highly recommend her if you need to sort your shit out!

Ange, my wife and I then ventured into our ‘ Meditation Chronicles ‘ Along with Ange running courses, me providing the soundtrack to them. You can listen to and  purchase on most digital stores including Spotify, Amazon and iTunes.

Listen: Meditation Chronicles

MOONTOWNS 2

So with a few new paintings. I’m rather chuffed.

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Choices

So that time comes when we make a choice, the choice that will change one’s history and future. That choice that has been bothering me for ages. That choice that was forced when things all of a sudden changed into something that didn’t feel so good.

On a beach. One can choose to stay in the sand and shade. Or enter the sea and float in the sunshine, wherever it takes me.

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I think when one is pummelled with stress after stress and challenge after challenge. The belief in good sinks under the ocean. Body and mind tired.  Tolerance of others fades. Being surrounded by lots of people in crisis is incredibly draining. One revaluates what is truly important. My sanity, my health, my relationship, my family. The other things.  Am I getting the pleasure from doing some of those things anymore? Or have things changed for the worse? Do I have the energy to keep producing the good stuff when others can’t?  When did all of a sudden I become nothingness? When did the thing that I created become a thing that less qualified others controlled?

I have immense problems with people who think they are superior and better than me. That’s not my insecurity. It just damn rude! Yes how very dare you. Some undervalue or are simply unaware of my talents, works and achievements. I find it disrespectful and insulting.  Experience and respect is gained over many years of working at ones fortes.  That’s doesn’t also mean that’s an excuse to power trip and treat others as inferior.  Qualifications are great. I’ve met many with qualifications that aren’t worth toilet paper. How and why they got them as I see no evidence of behaviours, knowledge or anything leaned is baffling. Is a wise man that has survived many winters on a mountain qualified to help you survive?  Or the kid that thinks they know it all?  Then there is that teamwork thing, that diplomacy.  Teams contain leaders. Leaders that focus on a result ultimately have the final word, even if some don’t like that decision. We all sometimes don’t get our own way.  As one climbs the ranks, one leans a lot and passes down side ways and upwards wisdom.

You see that very wise mountain man survived so long because the villagers fed him. He’d once helped out woodworking. He was a very popular, charming and well liked man. He didn’t feed himself; others did as a kind of exchange for his work. After time he became unmotivated, life must be easier than this. He slowed down. Taking twice as long with his work.  Eventually he stopped making things, just relied on others charity.  He became lazy. This caused discontentment. Eventually the villagers took a vote. They stopped giving him their charity and he stood alone. He became weak. He fell to his knees.  They felt oh so guilty. Those same people rescued him and fed him again. He rested on his laurels.  “Ah those idiots,” he thought. He’d sit on his porch, feet up laughing to himself. He’d succeeded on fooling them feeling sorry for him. They were bad people if they stopped feeding him. They were all so stupid! That’s where he got it wrong.  Eventually someone got pissed off and shot him dead and burned is house down. Then spat, shit and pissed on his pancakes and walked away. Life and productivity in the village bloomed. People had the time and energy now they weren’t climbing that mountain every day. People went from being disgruntled and guilty to being contented. That man was soon forgotten about, as he never made his mark. It was always take, take, take. He’d played on his age.  Used the sympathy vote. That man was more capable than most, He just could not be arsed. People see saw through him. Not all, but some.  Some are very good at spouting believable bullshit.

There are people in this world that have a dictionary of excuses for themselves, that never take responsibility. Time runs out eventually.  Things always catch up.

There is a big difference between supporting and carrying people. There is a difference between the reputation and their perceived reputation.  We make an effort in this life, or we ride on the waves of others efforts. Some have no choice; life has been harsh in body, mind and experiences. Some are just too damaged.  Some focus and manifest ill heath as earning a crust is far too frightening and takes an effort. Some believe the world owes them something. The world owes you nothing. Some do the bare minimum, while others work their arses off for the same reward. Infuriating isn’t it!

So I retreat into my own healing. I surround myself with meditations and positive energies. Good people.  Sometimes the best thing to do is to walk away.  The ones that interfere, read between the lines, defend the undependable, scream the loudest. Confess responsibility of wrongdoing by outburst alone.

Implementing of change is challenging, It upsets people. I’ve done it. They fear it. They call you names, they try to harm you, they try to pressure you to stop, and they take the piss out of you. They rant about how absolutely great and right they are.  You may not get invites to their parties. But it’s not about popularity. It’s about what one wants to achieve with a project. It’s about fairness for all.  To evolve and progress. We must change.  To be open-minded is liberating. To keep banging out the same frustrations, stagnates a creative soul.  In the moments of true clarity. One asks oneself?  What do I need out of all of this? It’s not all about you. You may think it is. It is not.

Youth brings much arrogance. Age brings much stubbornness. The middle is when you find your true self. Do you listen to the masses that have decided you are wrong?  The masses that have a dictionary of excuses. The moment they are challenged. They attempt turn it around, like you are the bad person.  Or do you follow your instinct knowing that they really are. Time will prove you right. Some big corporations are rotten to the core.  Once they get away with stuff the first time, they continue and screw people over more. Eventually someone has enough. Some take a shotgun. Some take a grievance. Some expose the wrong ‘uns. Some just leave as there is no hope.

I will always stand my ground and up for myself as the world is full of losers wanting a free ride and to fuck you over on that journey. I sadly see happening more and more.  To agree to disagree is different from not listening to full potential. Closing doors on new ideas shuts you in a box.  A masterpiece can be scribbled in chalk. It is not necessary a polished diamond.  Getting problems discussed and resolved is far better than letting disillusionment built up. When things blow people go….

 I stand at the crossroads and.  

The Horror Of Negative People

The true horror of Negative People and their influence.

Nowadays I pity negative, miserable people. I used to hate them, really hate them. I’d get really upset and angry ( I’m human, I’m still learning, finding my way to stop the affects of them) Hate is an emotion I no longer try to feel. As it doesn’t make me feel better. Sending my hate out into the Universe only increases my suffering. How awful must your life be, if you have to behave in such a terrible way towards others. I’m glad I am me. I’m lucky, I have great mentors and support. I listen and take action now. 
I’ve learnt the hard way. Frustration, upset, attacks. Psychic Vampirism. (ever been around people and feel really drained?) You just can’t help everyone. Sometimes with the best intentions. You get ‘made out’ to be the enemy. Some people never accept new additions to a group or change. Alienation does not feel nice. It happens. It doesn’t really fall under the bullying umbrella. As the “You can’t get on with everyone, so just be pleasant” (eg keep your gob shut, head down and do not dare have an different opinion! Keep the peace) speech occurs. Fear, resentment, mistrust, previous damage to themselves. All contribute to a nasty experience. I’ve been the brunt. I also know how and why good teamwork… Works. Poor management can ruin productivity, equilibrium. So can poor employees. The best managers I have worked with had a sense of humor, were kind souls, knew their job inside out. Got their hands dirty, communicated and most importantly, kicked ass in a proper manner when it was needed! Staff with bad behaviors who are allowed to continue. Cause much upset. I know, I used to be like that in my younger years. A righteous pain in the vag!
Positive influence, good organization, proper training, clear goals, support gains trust and loyalty. After maturing a little, in my 30’s. I managed teams of people for a while. (I’d worked incredibly hard to get offered the opportunity) I learnt a lot. I hope I’m remembered by most as one of the good ones. There are always the people you just can never, ever get on with. I will never profess to be perfect. But I do learn from my mistakes, admitting and apologising when in the wrong.   Personality clashes occur. Sometimes you just have to agree to disagree. Stitch ups happen when slimy people try to further their career and brown tongue. (poor you, if that’s what you have to do to get on)
I was always fair but firm. Sticking up for my staff. I did love a good giggle and practical joke. I worked in Retail for 18 years. The back stabbing and lies by certain managers was bad enough.

Now the general public, that’s another kettle of bad fish. Very bad fish.

For some reason. Certain individuals eg “Customers” and their terrible ego and bad attitudes, truly believe shop workers are scum of the Earth. I could write a book about the threats, incidents, physical violence and vileness. Oh and the hysterical and strange occurrences. The Sunday morning skid marked pants after a night on the ale, eye watering body odour, domestics, rows over a cashiers “dirty look”, moaning that they couldn’t report someone to customer service as they were “Too Nice”. People trying to buy vodka with their benefits food vouchers. ( I just love paying my taxes to these sorts, I’ve worked and contributed since I was 16 years old) Then kicking off! Oh and just when you think a cashier doesn’t know you’ve been eating the loose grapes on the way round… That secret extra pressure applied to the scale when you are not looking settles things ;-0

If ‘Shopping’ and ‘Queuing’  truly ignites your rage. TRY: Internet shopping! It may be the solution, or anger management? Or getting a life? Being barred helped us poor staff!

If I had £1 for every time we got “I pay your Wages!!!”

Well actually you dont. If you never shopped there, the company would not go bankrupt and I would still get paid. And if I was evil and pitiful like you, I’d have loved to walk into your ‘amazing job’ that makes you a supreme being better than everybody else and entitles you to be a rude twat! Then I’d lay into you, belittle you, threaten you, moan about petty things like it was the end of the world and see how you liked it!! Day in day out!

It all got too much for me. ( I job hunted, got rejections, failed interviews for a year. But you know what? I persevered. I knew if I tried and tried. I’d eventually escape. I got a new job. I resigned, walked away from the horrors of retail for good. I will simply not settle for working with negative folk or being exposed if I can help it. Yes I do have control of that choice ) The public helped me hate myself, the name calling ( I’ve been called every obscenity under the sun ) my confidence and health hit rock bottom by the end. I was on the wrong path in life. The Powers That Be we’re showing me lessons. Eventually later on I acknowledged. I meet far less awful people nowadays. But I’m still working on my reaction to them.
I have much respect for people who work with the public. It’s a hard job. Can be soul destroying. It also can be very rewarding when you make a difference. Get a smile, a thank you. 

Society is becoming more unbalanced. Violence, greed, religion, social breakdown, lack of deterrent of consequence for crime, which is on the increase, unemployment, generation after generation void of hope, education. The trouble with guns?  ‘Protection, deterrent’ if your world is so unsafe, until the wrong person uses them for mass slaughter. Guns don’t destroy lives, people who use them do. Everyone likes to blame Governments, Banks. People rarely look at their own behavior. People want want want. NOW! I’m no economy expert. I try to avoid the news. It’s depressing. Now moaning, whinging..Maybe it’s the British? (I’m from England btw) Maybe when you get older you moan more? Maybe people interfere and judge everyone else, instead of getting on with their own lives. ENJOYING THEM..MMmmmm.
Bad news sells. No one wants to hear about good news… Apparently. All very doom and gloomy isn’t it?

That’s until you remove yourself from those situations. Once you break free of being programmed.
Take a walk in the wild. Observe the beauty of everything around you, be grateful of what you have. There is always someone worse off than yourself, suffering, dying. Im sorry, everyone’s body dies. Cruelly before their time. Or was it “their time?” But.. Don’t worry. The afterlife is real. You’ll see. 😉 Thats MY opinion, knowledge, belief, experience. You, I’m sure will make up your own mind. The body is a vessel. The spirit, soul, your essence, energy exists. Your true self.. Not the mind (The Ego)
If you do feel someone is sucking the life force out of you. Shields up. Cut the cord. Sometimes making them aware stops it. A lot of the time. They are unaware they are doing it.
You get the people whose continued control dramas, “poor me” cause upset and misery. Does physical illness manifest itself if a person is unbalanced, stressed? Are we all just genetically programmed. The power of what you consume? The power of the mind. The power of belief. The damage of regret, jealousy, anger, upset , abuse.
The healing of happiness, Healthy eating, contentment, love, laughter.

A greasy Kebab after a belly full of beer has been bliss in the past. Not nowadays. Green leafy things make me feel good, clear and give me energy. I’ve never drank coffee. I cant bear the taste of the stuff.( I’ve really tried to like it, it makes me retch) The most we drink at a ‘coffee shop’ is a Hot Chocolate of a nice brew of Assam tea.

I  choose not to hang around negative people socially. What is the point of having your day ruined and made to feel depressed?

I treat troubled souls and help rebalance them on a professional level Practicing Reiki. It’s great helping people who want to make positive changes, seeing results. Learning from my experiences, working with the energies, practicing my training. Committing myself to something good that not only helps me, helps others. I can’t save and help everyone. People have to want to help themselves. Open themselves to Unconditional Love. But every little bit of positive thinking and activity gets sent out. Negativity only attracts negativity.

Sometimes in life/work its really hard to escape negativity . Life is too short in this world for me personally to tolerate being surrounded by it. It makes me ill, physically. Yes i get physical manifestations.  I choose not to. I try not to let people affect me. But sometimes when you are surrounded by it, it affects me terribly. Causes stress. Stress = very, very BAD. I will leave/escape a bad environment once all else fails. Its really not worth staying for the bad vibes.

When I’m around positivity, laughter, fun, love, creativity. I’m in my own little Heaven. It feels so good, inspiring, healthy.
I’d love to go build a log cabin in the middle of nowhere, with a small community of fellow light workers. Live off the land. Help others. Run a retreat for those in need. Battered wives, animals, lost souls. Basically those who need help. Well, that’s the plan. We are working to achieve that goal.
I love hugging trees. I love fresh air, the freedom of nature, the sea, a forest, fields in bloom, music, art, meditation, blue skies. I love our cats, my friends, family and wife. I want for nothing as I’m owed nothing, my life is abundant. I’m not materialistic. When I sit back and truly think about it. Life is rather good.

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