A year of living dangerously and thinking dangerously has passed. In that (I Love that Film)
Gone are the clouds that covered the blue skies of hope. Most barriers to progress are gone. The inner walls I’ve constructed have turned to dust. I am now open, emotional, free and getting back to the funny me of old. (without being a bitch) Somedays I still do feel lost, the outcast. But those days lessen.
Today was a good day. I played my new Banjo to my impressed Dad. He loves Duelling Banjos… Deliverance. I do like our chats. I’m very much like my Father in many ways. I’m extremely proud he got an MBE after her retired, for his Services in the NHS. The last few weeks have been good. From hitting rock bottom and darkness in the never ending tunnel. (Most of 2012 start 2013)
Our dreams and intentions came true. We’ve been given a way to kick start our business. Thank you Barclays. Yes you owed me!! Trust in the universe and balance is restored. Positive affirmations, intentions, hope, dreams. Seeing ones desires.
Ange had surgery on Thursday. I was an emotional state. Blubbering. I cry so easily nowadays. But that is good, release. There is always the risk. I’d had a dream recently where I lost her. I woke up. Despair and tears. Appreciate your loved ones. Every moment, every day.
I was lucky enough to be accepted for a NHS ‘management’ course called ‘Liberating The Talents’. Always a bonus after a recent job rejection. Never mind how good the feedback. Rejection is hard. But.. The inspiring Eden Charles PHD is a teacher and motivator of mass excellence. Sat there with colleagues in a rather spaceshippy building on Nottingham University Campus, knowing my wife was having surgery was un nerving. But Ange said I should do it. It would do me good. And the 1st session really did. Embracing these things is part of my path. Along that path comes hard work. Conquering fear. Rewarded meeting inspiring likeminded folks.
I’ve now got the distinction to my nvq to finish and ‘homework’ for this management course to do during March. On top of my full time Jobsy, 2 hours travelling per weekday, Reiki practice, music making, personal life. Chores etc. So busy!! But motivated. The art creating is on hold for a month. I have to finish the study things before my mind frees itself to paint. Once March is over! I can relax and enjoy my wedding anniversary.
Luckily Anges op went well. Her recovery will take a few weeks initially. I’ll be making flasks of tea. Our cats have been little cuties caring for her. Then we join the gym. I’ve bought our squash rackets (lots of domestic competitive rows due with that then!!!) and swimming may commence shortly.
We’ve had some really good times with our circle of friends recently. (not like we don’t anyway) Even more important to us during trying times that we have great friends. You know the ones that make you laugh, care, advise, oh and have a great booze up with. Its good to come out of Januarys and Februarys 12 bar blues. I have no need or room in my life for vampires and negative sorts who don’t want to help themselves get sorted. It can be done. It’s just hard. People are lazy and expect it to be done for them. I tire of those people. I embrace ones that will accept and want to work on change.
I’ve gotta go back to Docs to pursue the mystery surrounding my leaking mouth!! Max Fax are at a loss. More X-rays and no answers. Bacteria swap negative. We are betting on Sinus, pipework/plumbing issues. SOFT TISSUE not bones. I have one metal screw left. That can be the only culprit. My recent cold and extra leakage and pain up left nostril is pointing towards sinus things…. MRI scan will happen. I need my nose pipework looked at properly. Saltwater, Douching and streaming is slightly helping the build up of nastiness. But either something needs plugging to stop the flood, or the rubble needs unblocking to allow safe passage. Ongoing daily pain. Nice! Hope and intention 2013. WOULDN’T BE SURPRISED IF SURGERY OCCURS.
Would be great if cure without gore. 😉